7 Quick Takes-Almost Too Late

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The busyness continues, and I'm just not finding time to organize my thoughts and write them. If all goes as planned, we will be in Asia the beginning of November. Never mind that we have a house two sell, eight years of marriage and three kids worth of stuff to go through, visas to obtain, and any number of other things to accomplish by then. Oh, and we need to find good time to spend with family and process this whole moving thing.

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That leads to take number two, in which I tell you that I am not sleeping well...at all. For some of you this may be normal, but not for me. Even when I have a newborn waking me up multiple times at night, I sleep exceptionally well. In fact, sometimes my husband has to wake me up to tell me a baby is crying. All three of my kids sleep through the night now, and I have always been one to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow and not wake up until the alarm (or a child) wakes me. This lack of sleep due to stress is new for me, and I am not handling it well at all. Any suggestions other than just drinking lots of caffeinated drinks? Help, anyone?

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On a brighter note, we spent Labor Day weekend in the mountains and took Monday totally off from moving/support raising/totally uprooting our lives work. It was lovely and cool and clear on the Blue Ridge Parkway, and we stopped at my favorite apple orchard (definitely the most scenic in the world) for some apples. We've already made applesauce and will be doing apple butter and pie tomorrow. Yum!

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I have been thinking a lot of deep thoughts lately, but I just haven't had time to process them in writing. I have been thinking about how we spend so much time living our lives for an audience and documenting them that we don't actually live them. With blogs and digital photography and Facebook and Twitter, even those of us who try to avoid it often end up spending more time thinking about how to present our lives to others than actually living them. Because I have spent so much of the summer having to live in the here and now and not even having a moment to consider blogging or taking pictures or updating Facebook, I am realizing how much better life is without all of that. I think the generation becoming adults right now is growing up more narcissistic than any before because none of us have thought through how to use this new technology well. I heard about this book on NPR the other day, and would love other good resources that discuss how to live well without becoming a luddite and rejecting all technology.

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I've also been thinking about Muslims in America. I want to hate that crazy preacher in Florida who wants to burn copies of the Qu'ran. I want to hate him, but that would make me just as bad as he is. So instead I want to be like Catherine, who is finding ways to reach out to her Muslim neighbors. But can I still be mad at 24-hour news media? If it weren't for their need to have something to report on, the Qu'ran burners would not have national coverage, and the hatred that they are showing would not be the fuel for more hatred, toward Muslims or toward Christians. I'm pretty sure the Jesus I follow said something about loving my neighbor. In fact, He even said something about loving my enemy...I guess that includes the guy in Florida as much as it does the 9/11 hijackers and even the news media.

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On the parenting front, I have loved this article from Leila of Like Mother, Like Daughter (whose blog you really must subscribe to). Her parenting articles (and others as well) are so sensible and down to earth. This one was even better. I especially liked the alternate version of Ma Ingalls telling Laura to go in the house when there was a bear:

Today's child, in the false comfortable world of prosperity where parents think they have the luxury of listening to "experts" (who have no obedient children themselves), would cause this scenario:

"Laura, get inside!"

"Why?"

"Sweetie, get inside, please. Mommy needs you to get inside. Mommy doesn't want to scare you, but there's a big bear and she needs you to make a good choice now and do what she says."

"Will you buy me a treat?"

"Yes, sweetie, please, go inside."

"Where's Daddy?"

"Mommy knows you have questions, and that's very smart of you. I'm so proud of you. Please go inside now."

"He's never here! Why isn't he here? You TOLD me he'd be here!"

"Sweetie, when you argue with me, you are making a bad choice. What did we say about bad choices? Now, you'll have a time-out if you don't do what I say..."

Meanwhile, the bear eats them.

Why? Because Mommy is so patient that she allowed every interaction with her child to be an exchange between equals rather than a strong wall that a child can't breach. For her own sake.

My husband and I took her advice on having obedience practice, and it has worked wonders. We randomly ask the boys to run to the middle of the room and stand on one foot or hide behind the curtains. They do it the first time we ask because it is so funny, but the great thing is that they really caught on and started obeying the first time we asked them to pick up their toys or do something helpful for us. It was...well...wonderful.

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On a purely frivolous note, my team plays Oregon tomorrow. We are totally outmatched. But we are playing at home, which is an intimidating place for even number 7. It could be an upset. I can always hope...

7 Quick Takes

Things are going better around these parts lately. Calvin is settling down a bit, and I am remembering to enjoy him and not just survive him. That means I have time to think of other things and even enjoy some good British comedy. What are you up to? For other Quick Takes, go visit Jen.

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Is anyone else as creeped out by Google Buzz as I am? I was so disturbed to log onto my e-mail yesterday morning to find that I was already signed up for Buzz and that people were "following" me, whatever that means. And there is no way to completely get rid of Buzz, so far as I can tell. Creepy! I am actually really angry at Google for assuming I wanted my privacy violated for the sake of their newest invention, and I am considering deleting my gmail account and switching to a host for this blog that is not connected to Google. Am I just paranoid, or is this whole Buzz thing scary?

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On a not at all lighter note, I have been following the controversy over the Tim Tebow Super Bowl ad pretty closely. I found this article and this one interesting. I personally thought it was not that big of a deal when it came down to it, though it would have been interesting to see what CBS would have done if a similarly understated pro-choice ad had been submitted. Anyway, the whole controversy has sparked a very honest and respectful discussion over at Emily's blog. Go check it out, but only if you can contribute in the respectful tone that has been set.

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Lent is almost upon us. We are contemplating a few fasts for this season. I am still trying to figure out if we can do a fast from meat, since Linus refuses to eat eggs or cheese or beans. If we do it, Jessica has some links to great recipes. We are also going to do an internet fast. I may still blog, and we will still use e-mail. But reading blogs, browsing the internet for information, and Facebook are off limits. Finally, we are planning to fast from artificial light after supper. We are hoping this will help us to use our time during the day well, develop discipline, and order our days rightly by practicing mini-sabbaths in the evenings. The boys are still contemplating what they want to give up, probably computer games every day except Sunday.

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Bishop N.T. Wright suggests that if something is given up during Lent something should be taken up during Easter. I am still contemplating this. I think for the boys I'll make a cross out of construction paper. When one of us notices another person in the family doing something kind or merciful or unselfish or otherwise good, we will put a flower sticker on the cross. Hopefully it will be covered with flowers by the end of Easter.

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I just finished reading The Supper of the Lamb and loved it! My favorite chapter is the one on wine, which Capon titles "Water in Excelsis" Isn't that great? I would put some good quotations here to draw you in, but there are too many. If you love food and are at all sacramental in your theology, you will like this book. It might not be the best reading for Lent, though, as the recipes will make you want to try them right away. Then again, he does have some good thoughts on fasting and feasting.

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My husband and I have lately been taking advantage of our Netflix subscription to watch the videos they have available online. Our latest obsession has been Fawlty Towers. If you like British comedy and have never seen this show, you should. How can you not love John Cleese as a misanthropic hotel owner? Great stuff!

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Finally, if you are late with organizing things like I am, you may not have planned your Valentine's celebrations yet. My husband and I aren't big Valentine's Day people, but I am planning to make cupcakes with the boys and do this cute craft (thanks to Jessica for the link). They would make good gifts. I suppose we should celebrate and learn about St. Valentine on Sunday, but we will probably be busy eating jiao zi and welcoming in the new year. Happy Year of the Tiger!

I Won't Stop Talking Until Big Coal Stops Blasting

Did you call the President?

If not, you can still send an e-mail. iLoveMountains.org is asking organizations across the nation to join forces today to stop the blasting of Coal River Mountain, a potential source of alternative wind energy and a symbol of the fight between big coal companies and those who think the mountains and Appalachian people are worth saving.

It only takes a minute. Isn't a that worth saving a mountain and her people, stopping one of the worst ecological disasters going on today, and caring for the creation that has been put under our stewardship?

Please, please, please, go fill out the form. Today.

I'm calling the President tomorrow. What are you doing?

Update. I did it! Calling the White House was pretty empowering. Isn't it amazing we have a country where we can do that?

I'm not usually very forceful or strongly opinionated on this blog, but some things just make me mad, and I have to speak up.

If you have a few minutes...and we all do. Help me save a mountain.

Blasting has begun on Coal River Mountain in West Virginia and must be stopped NOW! This mountain could be used to harvest wind energy forever, providing safe jobs and a diversified economy to local residents, if its top isn't blown off and dumped into toxic waste ponds that are upstream from whole communities.

This is an atrocity! It not only destroys the landscape forever; it threatens the drinking water, homes, and lives of those who live downstream. This is not something we can stand by and let happen. People in these mountain communities do not have the money or power to fight big coal unless the rest of America steps in to help them. If Coal River is destroyed, it can never be used for alternative wind power because its majestic mountaintop will be gone.

A mountaintop gone. A landscape changed forever. People drinking poisoned water. Homes endangered by floods. Doesn't anyone care?

Will you help me? Call President Obama and ask him to persuade Governor Manchin of West Virginia to stop the blasting at Coal River Mountain.

202-456-1414.

Do it! Leave me a comment to let me know you did. Spread the word on your blogs. Come on blogosphere!

7 Quick Takes-Just Stop Buying Stuff and Grow Something!

For more (and better) Quick Takes, visit Jen.

Oh, I do have a restless mind these days. There is so much going on, so much to accomplish toward our goal of being overseas next Summer, so many little people with big needs and even bigger smiles. I am overwhelmed. Then there are the big problems of the world that always seem to crash full force into my brain all at once. I start thinking I need to solve the problem of injustice, save the environment, get my house perfect to put on the market, teach my children poetry and music, and have all the laundry folded and put away. Something has to give...but usually I just get paralyzed and collapse on the couch unable even to get dinner on the table. Ever feel that way?

1. Big Problem of the Week: Consumerism
I was passing a dollar store today and saw a sign in the window that said "Be Part of the Solution" with a photo of a reusable dollar store bag. Now I am all for reusable bags, but isn't the whole dollar store (home of cheap, plastic, landfill-cluttering goods) a bigger problem than my occasional plastic bag? Besides, do all of these bags that stores are now selling come from recycled plastic? Maybe. Isn't it better to just use random canvas tote bags that you already have around than to buy new bags? I hate how we have turned even being green into a chance to consume.

2. Fair Trade and Justice
I think I mentioned the book Everyday Justice last Quick Takes. The first words of the book are "Don't panic" (or something like that). I am supposed to read the book and think about baby steps I can take. But that is not how my mind works, so I just get overwhelmed thinking I will never be able to make sure everything I buy is from fair trade sources. Then I give up.

3. Consumerism Mecca: The Mall
We were at the mall yesterday eating lunch with the hubby, and I couldn't even enjoy it at all. I kept wondering where and how my Chick-fil-A chicken was raised and what conditions the workers in the slaughterhouse worked under. Then I looked around at all of the stuff for people to buy. SO MUCH STUFF! And I thought that even if I buy everything second-hand, use Freecycle for stuff I no longer need, and cut down on consumption of things that aren't fair trade it would never be enough.

4. Sometimes I just wish Jesus would come back and make us all agrarian again. Speaking of that, I get to hear Norman Wirzba tonight. I love living here!

5. I need rest. And these this lovely blog post by my friend Catherine was exactly what I needed to read today.

6. Things that do not worry me? Swine flu (excuse me, H1N1) and the economic crisis.

I know we could get the flu, but we live in such a privileged place, that it is highly unlikely the outcome would be bad. And we would all have stronger immune systems.

I know my husband could lose his job, but we have resourceful families and could make it in a depression. If this crisis could stop the awful, cheap urban sprawl building that is destroying our good land, force more people to learn to grow their own food or buy it locally, and make more conservationists out of consumers, then it is a good thing. Unfortunately, I fear we are too hasty to turn things around and are just propping up our economy on more greed and consumerism.

7. And now, to end it with some humor...

Thanks to Jennifer for this excellent link on the new Dan Brown book (speaking of stuff not to buy). If you hate his books as much as I do, you'll love this.

7 Quick Takes-Good Links Edition

With nothing much to say of my own, I turn to some great links to check out. Be sure not to miss number 7, it's the best!

1. I have often found links that I love that turn out to be from Slate. Meandering around the internet tonight, I have decided that I love that site. So good. As an English major, I despise Dan Brown's novels on a purely aesthetic level. I can't get past a few sentences. This Dan Brown plot generator made me laugh...heartily.

2. While we are on the topic of English majors, now I know where all of those folks I graduated with get jobs. I think I have found a way to bring in some income while being a stay-at-home mom. My favorite part of this article:

I began to feel guilty. Some poor writer somewhere was plowing through this tome, then concocting a meaningless mishmash of words simply to fill four pages and satisfy the bizarre whims of a solitary, heartless taskmaster (me). But then I realized this is exactly what I did for all four years of college—and I paid them for the privilege!

3. And here's some good advice on engaging the health care debate.

4. Moving on from Slate, Tipper's series on old Civil War letters is fascinating, a little peek into a common Confederate soldier's thoughts, complete with Appalachian dialect. Her site is a great way to learn about Appalachia, anyway. Check her out.

5. My husband and I become more convicted every day about what we consume and where it comes from, and this site is a great place to begin. I am glad Christians are a big part of this movement for justice. Time to find some fair trade chocolate.

6. This post from Jen was especially convicting to me this week. How often do I get so focused on my own perspective of situations that I miss the bigger picture?

7. And, finally, the link you can't miss...A Bob Dylan Christmas album...I thought it was a joke. I LOVE Bob Dylan, but this is, well, I don't know what to do with it. But I will probably own it. Go listen to the links. You have to! (HT to First Things.com)

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen.

7 Quick Takes-Politics Edition

I don't usually get on a soapbox and rant on this blog. But I am sort of in the mood to do it. I am just overcome by the craziness in our culture right now. Visit Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes, many of which are not rants and are better than this post.

1. Have you read my post about health care yet? If not, quit reading this, and go do it. I am totally lost on this issue and really do want some help. It is so hard to find arguments for either side that are based on reason and not trying to manipulate my emotions. Tell me what you think and why. Convince me.

2. I am sure Senator Kennedy wasn't a horrible person. I am also sure he was not a great person. He championed a lot of causes he believed in, but he also seemed to be just a sleazy as the next politician, especially when it came to women. Really, I don't like making people into saints just because they die. And I especially don't understand why feminists would weep over the senator's passing. I just don't get it. I hope he came to the end of his life with an honest view of his rights and wrongs and a spirit of humility and repentance. I hope I can do the same, acknowledging my faults before God, dependent on His grace, and knowing that I have done some good. Please, don't feel the need to say things about me that aren't true, just because I am dead.

3. Have you read about the 13-year-old Dutch girl who wants to sail around the world? The government has taken temporary custody of her, and psychologists are saying the isolation of the two-year-trip would be bad for her and that she is too young to attempt it. Maybe she is too young, but she was born on a boat, has sailed alone since 10, and is supported in this by her parents. It seems to me that being separated from girls her own age right now, attempting something so incredibly challenging, and gaining a broad perspective on life would be a GREAT thing for a teenage girl to do. I certainly think her parents, and not state courts and psychologists should be able to decide this one.

4. Want to do something good in the world of politics? Go here and let the Army Corps of Engineers know you don't approve of permits for Mountaintop Removal Coal Mining. Yep, I'm asking again. Why? Because it is the worst environmental disaster in our country, hands down. Help. Please!

5. I am slowly working my way through Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety. And it is fascinating. I don't agree with everything, and I am not sure I am going to agree with the author's solution of better government programs. I do agree with her assessment of American overparenting. We have such an obsession with arranging our children's learning environments, their experiences and activities, to create successful, perfect people. We have forgotten how to let our kids be kids. I am seeing the fruits of this now, with Calvin, who just needs me to back off and let him do his thing. Linus is such a different, and more well-adjusted, child because I haven't obsessed over him so much.

6. Did you know Reading Rainbow is no longer going to be made? So many issues come up in this article. I was devastated when my local PBS station stopped showing Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood except at 6:30 on Saturday mornings. I don't like ANY of the new shows on PBS. They are so flashy and quick and assaulting to senses. I don't think television should be used to teach reading, as the article mentions. Children don't need to learn to read before they are in school; they need to learn it in school. Reading Rainbow simply encouraged a love of books. It was a good show. Now no one is willing to pay to keep it on because we need one more ugly cartoon to teach kids phonics? I think this ties into the Perfect Madness book somehow. I may have a longer post here.

7. I heard on my local NPR station yesterday that parents should be on the lookout for flu-like symptoms in children starting back to school. Apparently, the swine flu is expected to go around, and, get this, BE JUST LIKE ANY OTHER FLU. It may spread more easily, but it poses no more threat to the majority of the population than other seasonal flu strains. Just one more reason 24-hour media is a bad idea. When there was nothing to talk about, H1N1 was the next great plague. Now that we have Kennedy's death, Jackson's homicide, universal health care, and all sorts of things to talk about, it is just another seasonal illness that may be a bit worse than most.

Let's Talk Health Care

It has been a rough few weeks of illness around here, which we finally decided was some undiagnosable GI bug (which is currently giving sweet Linus a fever and stomach pain). As I was sitting in the ER Friday morning with Hobbes, trying to find the source of two days and two nights of stomach cramps every 20 minutes, I thought about a lot of things.

I thought about how much I love my middle son, that impish, mischievous, quirky way he has about him. And I though about how perfect our family is because he is right there in the middle, driving Calvin crazy when he needs to be and bonding with Linus in the most adorable way.

I thought about how much I hate hospitals. I am glad we have such good health care in this country, but I am even more glad that I have rarely needed it.

I thought about how annoying it is that so many ridiculous tests have to be run, so much time and money wasted, just so that malpractice lawyers can't sue doctors, the majority of whom are competent, caring individuals.

I thought about my dad, who was an amazing doctor who loved bringing new babies into the world and caring for women. And I looked at the kind doctors in the pediatric ER and knew that they were there for the same reasons my dad had been, to take care of sick people, to bring healing...NOT to make money. I knew that they would serve my son, screaming in pain in my arms, whether we had health coverage or not.

I thought about this article and how the health care reform could drive some really good people out of a profession they love. Let's face it, how many people would give up the prime years of their lives and many hours of sleep, time with family, and a life outside of work to work in an inefficient system with poor pay? Money did not make up for the time I didn't have with my father, but the lack of fair wages may have kept him and many others out of medicine. Even really good people will not go into a profession that sucks year of a life away if there is no fair compensation.

I thought about our crappy, unethical health insurance provider and wondered if they would pay this bill. We have good coverage through my husband's work, but we have to fight to get every big bill paid, including Calvin's heart surgery, for which we had an approval letter from them. That bill took over six months, and I knew how to navigate the system since I had once filed insurance for a doctor. Still, we had to call my husband's HR person to get it paid. What do people do who don't know how to work the system?

I wondered what that morning would look like under the new health care plan. Would we have to wait days for access to tests to find out if Hobbes' pain was something more serious that a virus? Or would things stay the same? Would people who weren't able to afford good care now be able to get it? We are lucky, I know.

This are the things I was thinking about. I am pretty conflicted on the health care issue, and I have yet to find a good, balanced perspective on it. If you can give me some thoughtful, balanced ideas on this, please do, but don't try to sway me with emotional arguments. I want facts.

I am pretty traditionally conservative when it comes to my view of the government running things. In general, I think more government bureaucracy leads to greater inefficiency and poorer quality. Things generally do better when run on a local level and tailored to the needs of a local community.

I have no problem with going after health insurance companies, which I think are a totally unethical and corrupt group of businesses, with a few exceptions. If they only reason folks are fighting universal health care is to protect these guys, then I say it's not worth it.

I respect and trust doctors and think they give up a lot in order to serve the common good. They should be able to work in an environment that rewards them for their sacrifice and allows them to choose to offer services or not based on their conscience.

I think that all of those 18-30ish uninsured adults out there who have decided the cost savings are worth the risk should be allowed to opt out of health insurance.

I don't believe we have a right to immortality, but I do believe we have a duty to provide basic health care to our citizens.

I am conflicted. But I am very glad that Hobbes only had a virus.

In Case You Forgot

Though Obama's administration is doing something, mountains are still being destroyed. Listen to this woman's story. Then go and do something. Please.

Appalachia is one of America's most beautiful places, and it is being blown up and dumped on people's homes and in their drinking water. They may be poor, and they may not talk like you. But they are strong, beautiful, intelligent people with a love for land that you may have never known. I know it, because it is my land too, and they are my people. Please help us.

Just War Theory at Four?

Calvin was watching his daddy play a war strategy game on the computer yesterday. I think my husband was playing the Americans in some sort of early colonial battle, which makes this all the more interesting.

"Daddy, why are they fighting their enemies and trying to kill them? God says to love our enemies. They must not know about God."

"Good question, Calvin. Well...do you think you can love people and still fight them? Like sometimes you have fights with Sam when he is doing something unfair?"

"Yeah, but we just wrestle."

If only an international wrestling match could lead to world peace. Was that the original idea behind the Olympics?

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

No, this is not a post about Mr. Rogers, though I could write one. It's about Mr. Li or Ms. Pushkin or Dr. Garcia any other of many possible last names that don't belong in American English. Do you live near a university or college? Do you live near a place where people from different countries come to work? I do.

Actually, I live near two major universities and a huge research area, and I am surrounded by people who speak different languages, eat different foods, wear different clothes, and just do things differently. I have a lot of interesting neighbors, figuratively and literally. In fact, the folks just next door, whose children my boys play with, are from Ecuador.

Have you ever thought about what it is like to move into a new culture, to leave behind everything that is familiar to you, to have no idea how to navigate the grocery store or the doctor's office or public transportation, to be unable to understand the bank teller or the person running the checkout line? Imagine getting your PhD in a foreign language setting or taking a job where everyone speaks too quickly for you to understand. Imagine how isolated you would feel.

Imagine what it would feel like to be invited into someone's home in that culture, to have someone take the time to speak a bit more slowly and to ask about your culture and what you have left behind. Imagine how it would feel to have the hand of friendship extended to you, even if awkwardly, to be invited into someone's life and family and to go from isolated outsider to friend and neighbor.

My husband and I just finished hosting dinner for some Chinese friends of ours who used to live here but have moved to another state, a place where they are the only Chinese people. It is a small town, and he is teaching at a small college. For most of us, that would make finding friends easy, but for them, it is incredibly difficult and lonely. I know people aren't trying to isolate them or to be rude. Most people are just afraid, afraid of making cultural mistakes, afraid of not knowing what to say or how to welcome.

The truth is, hosting cross-culturally will mean mistakes. It often means making a fool of oneself. In fact, we still make mistakes with our Chinese friends, who have been to our house many times. But do you know what? People are very forgiving. They are used to living in another culture, and they expect for things to be strange and for their hosts to make cultural mistakes. They are happy to be there, in a home, being loved in a messy, awkward, wonderful way. It doesn't take a degree in InterCultural Communication to befriend a person from another culture. It just takes a willingness to look foolish, to welcome kindly, to share stories and food and warmth.

There are a lot of isolated people out there, especially new immigrants and international students. If there are some in your neck of the woods, why don't you take the chance and invite them in?

And if you happen to live in a small college town in Idaho that has only one Chinese couple, would you please have them over for dinner? No rice required. They love lasagna.

Change I Can Believe In

If you read my blog at all, you know I am passionate about saving Appalachia from Mountaintop Removal Mining. This is a really cool site. The top 10 ideas for change will be presented to Obama. Go vote!

It's Keeping Me Up At Night

And I'm not talking about the baby, though his kicks are getting strong enough to wake me up and the reflux and aching hips of pregnancy aren't helping. Mostly, I have been unable to sleep at night because I am thinking about this post and this one and this one.

The abortion issue is one I have always felt strongly about, but for some reason, this election has brought it even more to the front for me. Perhaps it is my cynicism of politicians and government in general. I just don't see how any of them do much good for the economy or the environment or many issues. At least, what they do gets overturned by the next president and so often doesn't have lasting impact. But I do see that they could do lasting harm or good to the soul of our country on this one issue.

And then today I read this article. While I honestly don't know what I would have voted on Prop 8 if I lived in California, I do wonder what is wrong with our society. While many people I know would have voted "no" on Prop 8 and are also pro-life, I know even more who would have voted "no" and are pro-choice. How can one argue for the fundamental right of a gay couple to marry and not vote for the fundamental right to life of another segment of our society? A gay or lesbian couple might live a relatively happy, self-indulgent, carefree and safe life, even without marriage. I am not denying that there is real hatred and violence toward gay couples out there or that not being able to marry isn't painful. What I am wondering is how avoiding that pain is fought for as a fundamental right by the same people who fight for a woman and doctor's right to inflict immense pain on an innocent child?

Surely the rights of the most innocent of us not to be ripped violently limb from limb while conscious and to be left to die on a cold metal tray or suffocated in a hazardous waste bag is even more fundamental. (If you think abortion is less than that, then check out some of Jen's links on this post.) Surely without the right to life, the right to marry whom and when one wishes is not even an issue.

There is so much I could say to try to convince people of this, but I fear our culture has been too blinded to the evil of it. We are unwilling to look at the gruesome facts because the intense anger and false rhetoric on both sides of the argument blind us to the very simple truths at the heart of the matter: the truths that we have dehumanized and are systematically killing a portion of our population. I do ask you to take a look at the posts I linked to above. They say it so much better than I.

And if you read those and agree that this baby in my womb has a right to live, even if he were to be unwanted by me (because there are plenty of loving couples out there who would want him), then please go and sign this petition.

Lord, have mercy.

I realize that this post just skims the surface of a very big issue. I am not averse to answering counter-arguments, but please do not post them just for the sake of posting them. I have read some version all of the counter-arguments there are, I assure you, and I am still convinced, more than ever, of my stance on this issue. So feel free to ask respectful and thoughtful questions, but please keep it civil. Thanks.

One-Issue Voter

In case you hadn't noticed, things keep getting quieter around here. That's not because it's quiet at my house. I'm busy purging and preparing for a yard sale, nesting and reorganizing for baby, and falling asleep every time I take a break and sit down. Anyway, don't expect to hear to much from me for awhile, but I am still reading your blogs and thinking some thoughts of my own. I just don't have the energy to write.

I rarely watch TV, and my only news source in BBC News Hour on my local radio and the occasional NPR. As the election season heats up, I am intentionally fasting from the media as much as I can. I haven't watched more than 5 minutes of debates (and that was the first one), and I don't read anything that folks have to say about the candidates. I think that debates and media coverage are totally useless, so I read the candidates websites, listen to a few of their older speeches, and try to discern which choice is the best.

My problem this year? I don't like either candidate. I want to. I really do. Come to think of it, I haven't liked either candidate in any of the elections I have voted in. Maybe I have something against politicians. Maybe I find it hard to like insincere people. (And please don't start gushing to me about how one or the other of these candidates is completely sincere...they are playing a game.)

Traditionally, I tend to vote mostly Republican. Stereotype me if you want to, but I vote that way for one issue. I really like babies. I think babies are humans from the moment of conception, and I don't think anyone has a right to end an innocent life. I also think that a society that slaughters 800,000+ of its most innocent citizens a year is a pretty screwed up one. If we can't get that right, what can we get right? The Old and New Testaments are pretty clear that the devaluing of innocent life was the one thing that really ticked God off. He's a pretty merciful and gracious deity except on that issue.

BUT, Republican Party, I have something to say. You have had my vote for this long because you know how to play the pro-life ticket well. That does not give you license to do what you want with the rest of the world. I like babies, but I like other people, too. I think we have an obligation to help the poor in this country. I think that war that ends innocent lives should be avoided at all costs. I think that the sick have a right to receive medical care. I think women facing unwanted pregnancies need our support. I think we have an obligation as the wealthiest of nations to help the poorest of nations. I don't think that liberty or happiness or safety are the highest virtues. I do think that compassion and justice and concern for the poor and widow are pretty high up there. So don't take my vote for granted. If you want to keep it, show me that you care about all life, not just the unborn or how they happen to further your political agenda.

And Democratic Party, you do at least try to get some of these things right. I appreciate your efforts, I really do. But until you learn to value the most innocent and needy of lives, I am going to find it very hard to trust that you really care about those you want to help.

I am a one-issue voter. I want to vote for the candidate who truly cares about protecting all life. Problem is, no one supports my issue, at least not all of it.

Help Me Save a Mountain!

Please, please, please!!!!! This is more important than the babble I usually write here. Read it and take action. We're talking about people blowing the tops off of beautiful mountains and polluting the air and water, forever changing the topography of a region, and putting people in danger. Will you join me in doing something to make a difference?

Please take a few minutes to sign this petition to save Coal River Mountain in West Virginia. Massey Coal company tried to begin blasting today and was stopped by the governor, thanks to e-mails, phone calls, and the petition. The citizens of that area are offering a fantastic alternative of harnessing the mountain's wind power for clean energy while allowing some underground mining to continue for coal.

In case you don't know, I am a bit passionate about saving my mountains from mountaintop removal mining. If you don't know anything about the damage this horrible practice causes, watch this video. With MTR, the Coal River Mountain will only provide about 14 years of coal supply. If the mountain can be saved, the energy harnessed from the wind is endless and coal can still be mined responsibly.

If you want to do more, check out this site. And if you haven't already, plug your zip code into the box on my sidebar and find out your connection to coal. Leave a comment and let me know you have helped!

Thanks for helping save the most beautiful, rugged place in America!

On the Anglican Communion

I hesitated to write this post, since I am new to Anglicanism and have so little knowledge, compared to others, of the history and dynamics of the movement. But I needed to write it, to help me process my growing concerns about the Anglican church and the movement within Anglicanism of which I find myself a member. Because I am no spokesperson for the church of which I am a part or of the larger AMiA movement, I ask that you please not link to, refer to, or quote any part of this post unless you ask my permission first.

With that in mind, I would love to hear feedback from my other Anglican readers or anyone who has wise things to say looking in from the outside. If you are outside of this whole argument looking in, please keep your criticism of the church to a minimum. I promise I have heard it all before, and it won't convince me. I can say from experience that the church is a messy place with broken people who often make mistakes and hurt others. But I am convinced that it is no worse than the world outside of the church and that those of us within it are thankful to have the grace of God to forgive ourselves and one another and to try again.

When my husband and I were first married and looking for a church, we stumbled across this crazy church in the Chicago suburbs that used the Anglican Book of Common Prayer but was not yet part of the Anglican Communion. Having never been part of a liturgical church before, we both found the service intriguing but perhaps a bit too Catholic feeling for our Protestant tastes. But the more we attended, the more we fell in love, with the liturgy, the rhythm of the church calendar, and the ways in which each service engaged all of our senses in worship of the Creator God. Before we knew it, we were becoming members.

Not long after we joined the church, the church leadership began looking for a larger tradition to join. In their search for accountability and communion, they decided to join the Anglican Mission in the Americas (AMiA), under the leadership of Rwanda. Having not been part of an Anglican tradition in the past, I knew little about the movement. I did have some notion of its being a reaction to the Episcopal church's increasingly unorthodox theology, but I didn't give too much thought to the politics of it all. Mostly, I was excited about being connected to the church in Africa in such a real way. Being a student of InterCultural Studies at the time, I was excited to be a part of a church whose leadership was Rwandan, as it made real the upside-down nature of God's kingdom. Besides, I was in love with my church and the Anglican tradition by then.

When we moved back South, it seemed natural to my husband and I to join another AMiA church. Now here I am, six years into being Anglican and definitely committed to my local church body, but with many questions and concerns about the movement in which I am now involved.

It is not my intention to delve too much into the theological divide in Anglicanism, but I think it is necessary to explain where my beliefs lie. I understand and affirm the need of Episcopalians to leave their churches and find new leadership in a desire to maintain the truths of the faith. I have heard stories from many former Episcopalians of churches where the life, death and literal resurrection of Jesus are no longer preached and where the uniqueness of Christianity is denied. If the central truths of the faith are not taught, I would not want to be a part of that local church body either. On the issue of ordaining practicing homosexuals, I also disagree with the Episcopal hierarchy. I'm not going to try to defend my view here, just present it. But I will say that I know homosexuals who have accepted a call to ministry and therefore committed themselves to celibacy in order to stay within the teachings of scripture. I know the issue is complicated, and I usually try to stay out of it and just love the people around me. Maybe another post, another time. (I'm intentionally avoiding the issue of ordaining women here, as I see it as one on which believing Christians can have differing and valid opinions, and for which scripture offers objections that are specific to a particular audience.)

Why, you may ask, if I seem to side with the beliefs found within the AMiA movement, do I have concerns about where I am? I think my concerns have been growing for a while, but the recent GAFCON statement, from the leaders of my movement and others like it, as well as the controversy surrounding Lambeth, have brought things to a head. I have read the GAFCON statement, as well as Archbishop Williams' response to it, which I found to be very thoughtful and wise in it's criticisms and affirmations. I also appreciated N.T. Wright's response to the situation in the Anglican communion.

I love our local church, and I have been impressed with the spiritual vitality and genuine community I have found at every AMiA church I have visited. There are many godly and wise people involved in this movement, and I have great respect for them. I am also thankful for our leaders in Rwanda, men who have seen great evil and are working to bring healing and reconciliation to a troubled nation while still offering pastoral support to their much wealthier brothers and sisters in America. Our local church has had a lot of contact with the church in Rwanda, being instrumental in beginning a sister-parish network for the AMiA churches and Rwandan parishes. In fact, my in-laws just returned from a trip to visit our sister parish with a team from our church. I am excited about the new paradigm that is developing, in which we partner with the African church and serve one another. I think it has a great potential to heal some of the scars of colonialism and to empower the African leadership.

But while I love the people of the AMiA movement and agree that their theological stance is an orthodox one, I fear that we are making a great mistake that may do more harm than good to the Anglican Communion. There is an immediate need for pastoral oversight for those who have left the Episcopal church as a matter of conscience, and the African leadership has done a good job of fulfilling that need. But it is not a long-term solution. As Archbishop Williams suggests, Anglican leadership has historically been local, and in the long run, we cannot have two Anglicanisms in America. By holding a meeting in protest of Lambeth and issuing a statement, I fear that those involved in GAFCON have unecissarily drawn a line in the sand. While it may not be their intention, they seem to be saying that other Anglicans need to join with them or deny the historical truths of Christianity. I don't think such a push in necessary.

So what should we do? It seems to me that those of us who are part of the AMiA movement and others like it would do best to focus on building a vital and genuine community of faith among ourselves while maintaining communion with the Anglican body. If we truly believe that ours is the historical and orthodox representation of Anglicanism in American, then we should trust that it will endure. Eventually, the greater Anglican Communion will have to address the issues that are dividing the Episcopal church. Until they do and a decision is made, pressure to choose sides will only create a rift that could split a tradition I have come to love. There may come a time when the majority of Anglicans decide that the Episcopal movement is correct, and at that time, a stand may be needed. In the meantime, I fear we are pushing too hard and too soon. I pray that as we continue to work out what it means to be orthodox, Anglican, and American, we will learn greater caution and the value of keeping silent, praying and seeking wisdom over the long term in a desire to unite and not divide the communion.

Of course, this is only my opinion, as I wrestle with and pray through this issue. And I realize that those who have come out of the Episcopal movement and who remain in it have a lot of pain from a difficult history that I have not experienced. I would love to hear your thoughts, especially those of you who love the Anglican Communion.

To Fix, To Fight, or To Fall on Our Knees

This post is part of Julie's Hump Day Hmmm. It's a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short. To read some other great posts on the topic of "fixing" visit her site.

My father was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in August of 2003. Doctors told him he was lucky. They found it early, and with agressive treatment he had a chance of living another five to fifteen years. None of us ever even asked if not getting treatment was an option; it was just assumed that my dad would do whatever it took to live a few more years. In retrospect, I wonder if he made the right choice.

You see, even with several rounds of chemo and two stem cell transplants, my father only lived another three years. Some of that time was good, and he did get to meet three of his grandchildren, even being around Calvin long enough that Calvin still remembers his PopPop. But most of those years were not full of quality life. He and my mom spent several months at a time in Arkansas, far away from family and friends, so that my dad could get the most advanced treatment. When he was finally home and done with his transplants, my dad had about eight months of feeling pretty good until the cancer started to return. My workaholic doctor dad, who had always been fit and full of energy, spent most of his time on the couch, making the occasional outing to make memories with his family. In September of 2006, he passed into eternity.

Should my dad have gotten treatment? I don't know. I certainly don't regret the time I had with him or the memories he made with Calvin. I don't regret our last summer at the beach, when he spent time with baby Hobbes and watched Calvin and my niece play in the sand and waves. But I know that most of that time, my dad felt awful, and I believe that he only went through with later treatments for our sake. He was ready to go.

My husband and I have talked about this a lot lately, and I keep coming back with questions. Why do terminally ill people receive treatment? What would I do if I were diagnosed with a terminal illness? I am thankful for medicine and for the time it bought my dad. I also think that there is no question of receiving treatment if there is hope for a cure, or of using medicine if it can alleviate some pain and suffering in order to provide a better quality of life. But I do think that aggressive treatment in order to fight off death sometimes goes too far. Sometimes, people are ready to die. Sometimes people do not want to live in misery for just a few more months. Sometimes people are like Mrs. Dubose in To Kill a Mockinbird and just want to die in their full minds and at peace, not dependent on outside chemicals to regulate their bodies.

This is a tricky topic, and I think it extends far beyond terminal illnesses. There are so many medical treatments and medications that people use these days to lengthen life, hold off aging, "fix" a problem that may not be a problem (or at least not one that is meant to be fixed).

As I Christian, I can't help but see this pursuit of health and long life as proof that we live in a world that is not as it should be. Disease and brokenness are not part of the created order; they are a corruption of it. Death is not natural, it is the enemy. We are not meant to be comfortable with these things, but I also don't think we are ultimately meant to cure all of them. We are meant to live in this broken world and allow the brokenness to awake our longing for something more. We are meant to pray for God's kingdom to come into our brokenness and death and to bring healing and life. And ultimately, we are to look to Jesus, who was victorious over disease and death. His rule will usher in a new creation, where there is "no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away" (Revelation 21:4). Amen, Come Lord Jesus.

Happy Independence Day!

I know patriotism isn't popular these days, but since it is July 4th, I just wanted to let you know that I am thankful to be from the United States. I have traveled enough in various countries to know that we are immensely blessed in our country. We are blessed with abundance and freedom and peace and an overall charitable spirit among our people.

Of course we abuse these things and of course we are not perfect; no nation is. But I am very thankful to live in a place where we have the freedom to worship as we choose, where my children have access to free education all the way through high school (and where I can choose not to send them to state schools if I don't want to), where we have access to food and clean water at relatively good prices. I am even thankful that we live where we can choose to live selfishly, because a compulsive generosity is really not generous at all. I pray that we choose to live generously and wisely with what we have been given, and I ask for wisdom to see where our family does not.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone! May you find a little bit of joy in being an American today, knowing that even our ability to criticize our country is a freedom not many around the world enjoy.

"Warning Signs are Everywhere"

Calvin has become obsessed with warning labels lately. He notices every one around, and he asks me what they say. I usually ask him what he thinks a sign says, and with the words he can sound out and the help of the picture, he can tell me the gist of it.

I suppose there are some benefits to this new obsession, though not the ones you might think. Calvin is learning to read all sorts of new vocabulary words, "injury" and "serious" being two of the most common. In fact, the other day I heard him in his room with Hobbes asking, "Do you like choking hazards, Hobbes?" To which Hobbes answered a resounding, "Yes!"

Most of the time, however, the warning label obsession is problematic. For one thing, Calvin's mommy is not terribly safety conscious. I am of the house-proofing the baby instead of baby-proofing the house philosophy. Calvin has more than once asked me to read a label on a toy he shares with Hobbes that reads, "Not for children under 3. Choking hazard." He hasn't asked yet why his negligent mommy lets Hobbes play with these toys, but the time will come. To be fair, I don't let Hobbes have things that are really, truly choking hazards, at least not without supervision. But I suppose that highlights my whole issue with this warning labels business.

My problem? Most of the items that have warning labels in our house are not really dangerous. For example, Calvin's step stool in the bathroom is a sturdy, low-to-the-ground plastic thing that has never once tipped over or caused an injury, even with all of the tricks my boys play on it. Still, it has a warning label, big and ugly and yellow, stuck to the side of it. I am not going to fold up my stroller with my child inside of it, but there is a warning label just to make sure I don't. I've always had issues with this, but I never realized until now just how much I had learned to ignore the warning labels on nearly every single children's item in my house. Calvin's keen eyes have helped me to see them all again.

Ours is a safety obsessed society, and I am bothered by what that means on so many levels. I am bothered that we are lawsuit crazy, that we think we have a right to a pain-free and problem-free existence, that we have become a culture of victims who are unwilling to take responsibility. But those are all posts for another time. Suffice it to say that traveling abroad is always refreshing to me for the lack of warning signs.

But I do wonder what to teach my kids about this issue. It is important to be careful, to look both ways when crossing the street, to use caution on ladders, to make sure no one is at the bottom of the slide before you come down. I don't want my children to grow up to be overly cautious or unwilling to take risks, but I would prefer to keep them alive. I know that most parenting advice in America these days seems to emphasize safety to an extreme without considering the negatives of being overly protective and cautious. I want to strike a balance.

Thankfully, my husband and in-laws do not subscribe to this philosophy of safety. When we are with them, my kids help their Gram drive the loader, help Daddy build fires, and watch Grandpa cut down trees. We teach them common sense and safety in those circumstances, always keeping a close eye on them, but we don't keep them away from places other folks might consider dangerous. Isn't it better to teach kids to respect fire than to tell them never to touch a match? Certainly, Hobbes is young enough that we keep matches and lighters out of his reach and teach him not to touch them, but one day he is going to want to play with fire. It's better that he ask his Daddy to come help him than that he try to build a fire on his own and burn down our house in the process.

I guess the question is about my priorities for parenting my children. I want to keep them alive, but I also want them to learn to deal with dangers and challenges that may come their way. I'm glad Calvin reads warning labels, sometimes they are useful and important. But more than following external warnings, I want my children to learn to face challenges with courage and common sense, to see the things that are truly dangerous and to learn when to attack them head on and when to run. I want to raise children who know how to have adventures and take risks and who sometimes are better of for ignoring the warning labels and taking responsibility for lives lived well.

I've just made a big parenting confession here, one that might make some of you wonder if I am fit to raise kids. I'd love to hear what you have to say on the subject.

Feminism and Motherhood

My husband just finished reading me this article by Rebecca Walker, daughter of author Alice Walker, that was linked to on a blog we often visit. Though I am not sure how I feel about this bashing of one's mother in the public sphere, I understand the author's intent and wholeheartedly agree with most of what she writes. Here are a few snippets to summarize:

...It reminds me of just how blessed I am. The truth is that I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother - thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman. You see, my mum taught me that children enslave women. I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale.

...Although I believe that an abortion was the right decision for me then, the aftermath haunted me for decades. It ate away at my self-confidence and, until I had Tenzin, I was terrified that I'd never be able to have a baby because of what I had done to the child I had destroyed. For feminists to say that abortion carries no consequences is simply wrong.

...I know many women are shocked by my views. They expect the daughter of Alice Walker to deliver a very different message. Yes, feminism has undoubtedly given women opportunities. It's helped open the doors for us at schools, universities and in the workplace. But what about the problems it's caused for my contemporaries?

...Then I meet women in their 40s who are devastated because they spent two decades working on a PhD or becoming a partner in a law firm, and they missed out on having a family. Thanks to the feminist movement, they discounted their biological clocks. They've missed the opportunity and they're bereft.

...Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. It is devastating.

...But far from taking responsibility for any of this, the leaders of the women's movement close ranks against anyone who dares to question them - as I have learned to my cost. I don't want to hurt my mother, but I cannot stay silent. I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results. Then, when you see huge mistakes have been paid, you need to make alterations.

I would not call myself a feminist, by any means, though I am also not anti-feminist. I do believe that some good things came out of the feminist movement, especially in terms of educational and work opportunities for women. I do not plan to be a stay-at-home-mom all of my life, though I do believe that my role as homemaker for my family and mother to my children is the most important job I have.

I love teaching and writing and being involved in ministry, but those are all things that I can do again once my children are grown. I sometimes think I gave them up too early and that every child I have puts me farther from my career goals. Then I realize that these unique, beautiful, compassionate, smart little men have been given to me as a gift, to nurture and raise and turn into men, with the constant help of their father.

I may be stepping on some toes here, and Rebecca Walker certainly did, but I am so thankful that she had the courage to write that article. She points to what, to me, are some of the biggest failures of the feminist movement. While all of the progress that has been made for women does not need to be thrown out, I think an honest look at the ways in which the women's movement has failed women is needed. I hope that people will read her article and that some debate can flow from it. I hope that those who really care about the rights of women will realize that taking away or degrading the most unique of a woman's roles does her no good, only harm.

Please read the article and tell me what you think. I am interested to hear opinions from all sides.