It Can't Be Helped

As I cuddled with Calvin on the couch Sunday night, the night before his sixth birthday, I said, "Don't turn six, Calvin."

"It can't be helped," was his reply.

His answer was so very Calvin-like, with his uncanny ability to toss out grown-up or antiquated turns of phrase at the most unlikely of moments. But lately those grown-up ways of speaking seem to fit him more and more. He is really growing up into a boy-man, and though there are traces of those emotional meltdowns and tantrums of his preschool years, he often tries really hard to control them. I love watching him discover his gifts and passions, seeing him learn to take responsibility, and following him along this path to greater independence. He stays up way past his bedtime reading old Hardy Boys books, he takes care of Linus with great attention, and he can occupy himself with Legos for hours on end. He is one amazing kid, and I am privileged to be his mommy.

I have not been a great mom to preschoolers, but if what I see of Calvin is indicative of the future, I think I am going to like the boy years. It can't be helped.

House Rules

Calvin wrote these out a couple of weeks ago, and I thought I'd share. Here's the translation for those who have trouble reading his writing:

• Do not be bad.
  
• Be good.
  
• Do not fight other people if they don't want to be fought.
• Play Wii.
• Don't stay in bed in the morning.
• Eat your meals.

In other news, check out that cute pudgy hand picking the blueberries in my header. We were in TN last week and enjoyed some of the fruits of my late grandma's lovely blueberry bushes.

Hello?

She opens the door with caution and peeks her head outside...

Anyone still around out there? I assure you I have been reading your blogs. Our lives have just been so busy with this new plan that I have not had a spare moment to comment or to write for myself. I miss this little outlet for my thoughts, though, and wanted to at least stop in and say "hi." Here's a brief update followed by a funny Hobbes story.

Oh, and if you just read me in your reader, you really should go on over to my blog and see the cute ducklings in the photo on my header. They were born at my in-laws' farm last week, and we have been enjoying them immensely.

Things are moving forward quickly with our plans for Asia. We have been contacting a lot of churches and are getting ready to send out a letter and start calling folks to talk about our plans. We have no idea where the funding will come from in such a short time or how all of the details will fall into place, but God is showing me that I just need to worry about doing what I can do in one day, not looking ahead to too many details at once.

Here's a wonderful story that feels like such a confirmation of God's provision in all of this. I was so stressed out about getting the house ready, purging and storing our things, and staging the house to have on the market. I had no idea when we would get it done with all of the more immediate needs of medical clearances and passports and building our support team. Thanks to a random e-mail I sent to a listserve, we already have a couple that is highly interested. We've shown the house twice to their daughters, and they are driving down from NY to check it out for themselves. Wouldn't it by funny if, after all of my stress about how to get it all done, these folks bought the house without my even having to do one more project or get it all cleaned out and staged? Maybe it won't work out that way, but right now, it certainly seems to have God's hand all over it.

I still have so little faith that we can get from 15% to 100% of our support in a month, get our ducks in a row, get our visas, and get there by September. But there are a lot of people praying with a lot of faith for it to happen. And God seems to be showing me that I can trust Him to show up in big ways. This is ultimately His work to do, not ours, and we are just called to be faithful each day to the tasks He has given. That may or may not mean He wants to get us there by September. But I think my faith is going to be stretched a lot this summer! It's hard to live this out, but I know we will look back one day and have a great story to tell.

Now, I'm off for a much needed Sabbath rest. The boys have been so funny lately, and I have lots of Calvinisms and Hobbes' quotes to share with you. I just haven't had time to write them down. For now, here is a funny from Hobbes.

We were at my sister-in-law's high school graduation yesterday, and the graduates were wearing blue robes. It was hot and the ceremony was long, and I was in the back with the boys under a tree. Hobbes was sitting up in the tree, a little Zaccheus character if ever there was one, and he looked down at me with a huge grin and said, a little too loudly, "Mommy, when I'm up here, I can see lots of the blue people!"

And then, pointing to the stage at all of the dignitaries in their black academic garb, "And there are all the black people!"

Apparently, his aunt and her peers are some sort of alien race with blue skin. And we, to all of those sitting nearby who heard but had no context, are now racists.

A Poem

by Calvin and Hobbes (with a little help from Auntie M)

If I went to the moon, I would bring my car
So that I could put it in a star.
The star would burn up the car
And the ashes would be bizarre.
I would also bring my sword
To fight for my lord
Against Count Bleck the Mean
The most dangerous villain you've ever seen.
I would of course win the fight
Unless Count Bleck had stronger might.
And then I would have to leave the moon
And fly back to Earth very soon.

Sometimes Droids Are Just Easier

Thanks to Uncle M, the boys have been introduced to the world of Star Wars. They have only seen Episode IV, but because Calvin can read the backs of the DVD cases, they know the basic plots of Episode V and VI. The following was conversation over breakfast this morning. Sometimes I wonder how poor Hobbes will survive being Calvin's younger brother.

H: "Han Solo gets captured by The Jaba Hunt, and Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia rescue him."

C: "No! They use the Force to rescue him."

H: "Yes, they use the Force."

C: "Do you even know what the Force does? They use it to freeze people so they can't move."

H: "They use it to make people freezed." (Shivers as if freezing.)

C: "Do you even know what the Force is?"

H: "No"

C: "They believe it's all living things."

H: "It's all obal things."

C: "No! It's all LIVING things."

H: "Oh. All living things."

This conversation went on for a while longer, but I was cleaning up breakfast dishes. I'm pretty sure Calvin corrected Hobbes on all important aspects of Star Wars trivia, whether he knew the correct facts himself or not. Then they asked me whether or not Yoda ever gets any bigger.

Me: "Yoda and Princess Leia were my favorite characters when I was little."

C: "Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi are my favorites."

H: "R2D2, R5D4, and C3PO are my favorites."

Yes, dear Hobbes, sometimes robots that you can boss around are much easier to live with than older brothers. Then again, there's always Han Solo. If he can ever get away from The Jaba Hunt, that is.

7 Quick Takes-On The Road Again...And Again...And Again...

Once upon a time, there was a woman named TwoSquare who had a blog, but she got a serious case of summer and was never heard from again.

It feels like I have been away from this space forever, and I won't be back anytime soon. It is mostly for good reasons.

1. I say mostly because my husband has been working crazy hours and his software job, and I have had a lot of LONG days alone with the boys. We are tired and crabby. All of us. Except Linus, who is perfect, as always. (And who ate a huge jar of baby mac & cheese, two egg yolks, and half a slice of cantaloupe for lunch. He only weighs 15 pounds at 7 months. Where does he put it?)

2. So we have been spending a lot of time at the pool. Yes, I have lived there this summer, and it is starting to show. The boys are tan, and Calvin is swimming on his own. Once he learned, there was no stopping him. Wednesday, we were there with a friend, and he was jumping in and swimming to her while I had the two other boys in the baby pool. At some point, I turned around to see him diving into the water! She had not told him to do that, and she was just as surprised as I was to see him try. Apparently, he just decided it was time.

3. Speaking of Calvin, he will be FIVE in a week and couple of days. FIVE! How did that happen? In honor of his birthday (or maybe just because we all need it and it was planned months ago), we are going to the beach for a week with my family. I can't wait! After that, the boys head home with their Nana for a few days, and I get some time with just the baby, hopefully to get some projects done around the house in time for the Fall.

4. Not that we are sitting still until school starts. After the beach, we have a crazy long weekend trip to the midwest for the hubby's Grandma's 90th birthday and a big family reunion.

5. And somewhere in between there and school starting, we need to get back to the homeplace and visit my Grandma, who decided to get chemo and is doing pretty well, though her prognosis is still only for a year at most.

6. Oh, and then there is the little matter of getting ready to move to Asia. When that is going to happen, I am not sure. But our dear friend who has been there for two years was home on a visit and with us a couple of days this week. She said the phrase "put on my face" (in reference to her make-up), and Hobbes thought it was great. I heard him in bed last night saying, "Calvin, I need to put on my face. I'm putting on my face. Look at me put on my face." Funny. Since I haven't purchased makeup since my wedding seven years ago, he would have never heard that from me!

7. With all of this moving around, we need a little time sitting still to read. I am re-reading The Brothers Karamozov in the best translation, and I am taking The Last Chinese Chef to the beach, along with a stack of books I may or may not get to. And the boys and I are really loving Tomie DePaola lately, especially the Strega Nona books.

What about you? Where have you been traveling and what's on your summer reading list? Visit Jen for more Quick Takes.

7 Quick Takes, Ending With a Calvinism

1. We are in the verge of a lesson in "Nature, red in tooth and claw" at the Two Square house. A bird built a nest in our very dead hanging plant on our front porch, and we noticed Wednesday that the eggs had hatched. They must have hatched a while ago, because yesterday we had a fledgling trying hard to learn how to fly. The boys and I have loved watching the mommy bird bring food to her babies and encourage them to fly.

The problem? Our neighbor's cat has also enjoyed watching them, a little too much. So we spent yesterday helping the fledgling back to its nest every time it made a failed attempt at flying. We would take the hanging basket down, let the bird hop back up, and hang it back on the porch, hoping the cat didn't see its next fall before we did. Unfortunately, we came home from dinner out to find the fledgling missing and the cat waiting eagerly for another one to fall. Could get interesting today.

2. Speaking of hungry animals, I have enjoyed making lists of all of the foods Linus has tried at this point. I wonder how he ever survived just on breastmilk, honestly. He has tried all of the major fruits and veggies, rice, barley, oats, yogurt, chicken, beef, and turkey. That's the short list. Some of this is store bought baby food. Some of it is made by me. Seems the store bought kind is too smooth for this bottomless pit of a baby. He likes it as close to the real texture as he can get. In fact, he was happy to down some banana pudding and blueberry batter pie at our 4th of July picnic. And plain rice cakes that he can feed himself? Those are good for 30 minutes of entertainment, at least.

3. This constant eating is finally producing better sleep. Though Linus is not completely sleeping through the night for 10 or 12 hours, he is usually only waking once. Bliss!

4. Have you heard of this book? I have been thinking a long time about how our culture tries to turn motherhood into a profession that can be perfected and about how the attachment parenting movement, despite its good intentions, has left so many mothers feeling like failures because they can never give enough of themselves. Seems I'm not the only one. I'm looking forward to reading this and seeing what she has to say. I don't know if she explores the effect this type of over-anxious parenting may have on our kids, but I would be interested to know.

5. Speaking of parenting books, has anyone read Siblings Without Rivalry? If so, do you recommend it? Calvin and Hobbes are driving each other (and me) up the wall. I know some fighting is normal, especially between two boys so close in age, but really, does every playtime have to end in a fist fight? Mothers of boys, how much should I just overlook?


Lest you think they are terrors, here are two cute moments from yesterday:

6. Today's the day the dinosaurs have their picnic...

I love my boys' growing imaginations. This was set up before breakfast this morning...before I even got out of bed. Apparently, dinos eat Nerf balls. Who knew?


7. And, saving the best for last, a Calvinism for today:

Me (talking on the phone to my mom about my mother-in-law's fam): "They're great problem solvers. They'll figure something out."

Calvin: "I'm not a great problem-solver."

Me: "Yes, you are, Calvin!"

Calvin: "No, I'm not a great problem solver. I'm a problem maker."

Truer words were never spoken. For more quick takes, visit Jen at Conversion Diary.

The Men in My Life

There are so many moments I want to remember from this weekend.

Hobbes saying "I hope you have a good time!" as we walked out the door to a lovely dinner date at a local French restaurant.

Sitting for a couple of hours with my dear husband as we enjoyed fine food, good wine, and an evening without spilled milk or messy baby food. Walking around downtown and holding hands when the dinner was done.

Taking in all of the sights and sounds of the farmer's market with Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin choosing the sugar baby watermelon to buy and Hobbes carrying a big bunch of zinnias in front of his face as we walked through the market. Getting samples of farmer's cheese from our favorite cheese vendor.

Watching the boys shuck corn from the market and then get distracted by the caterpillars who were sharing our bounty. Hobbes running in to tell me to come and see what Calvin had done. "He put the caterpillar in the tree, Mommy! Now the caterpillar can have a happy life and become a beautiful butterfly!" Calvin's (very grown up) face of joy as he watched the caterpillar climb up a limb of the tree, looking for food.

Husband working on a digital painting on the computer while Calvin had a drawing lesson from him, working on copying a man in armor from a book on the middle ages. Hobbes very happily finger painting while I cooked up some baby food delicacies for Linus. All of us creating in our own way.

Linus relishing the chicken, broccoli, squash concoction I had just cooked up for him, crying the instant his mouth was empty.

Linus again, squealing and smiling and kicking and laughing, enjoying every moment of an afternoon home alone with Mommy and Daddy while his brothers were off at Gram's farm. Those big, blue, beautiful eyes adoring us as we adore him.

There were plenty of difficult and ugly moments, too, I suppose. But I am choosing to remember these. These moments where we were thoroughly enjoying one another as a family. These moments when I was able to stop and look and give thanks for these good gifts, these four men in my life.

7 Quick Takes-Too Much, Not Too Much

For more 7 Quick Takes, visit Jen's blog.

1. Too much to do. I am just overwhelmed these days. There seems to be no way to get everything done that needs to get done in order for us to do anything more than just make it through the day. And you can say all you want about taking it one day at a time, but we do eventually have to get on a plane and move overseas. Insurance bills do need to be straightened out. Some friendships do need to be maintained. Possessions do need to be purged. The dirt and dust under the furniture? That can stick around a while.

2. Too much stuff. I alluded to this in the first one. I have never been so aware of how much stuff we have. I look at everything in our house and ask whether to toss it, give it away, store it, or take it to Asia. I know we still have a year or so, but if I don't start now, it will never get done. Really, compared to most of America, we have very little. It all fits into a 1180 square foot home with small closets and no attic or basement storage space. But when you are moving around the world, it suddenly seems like a lot!

3. Too much cuteness. That is what I think about my kids when I am not thinking about how rotten they can be. Linus knocks my socks off every morning with his smile, Calvin is blowing me away with his new feats of daring and his Lego inventions, and Hobbes' creative mind and imaginative play are in full swing these days.

4. Not too much food. Not for Linus. I finally broke down and made him some homemade baby food last night. Chicken, carrots, and apples. He was getting less than enthusiastic about most of the overly pureed baby foods. He would basically only eat the meat and veggie combos, so I made some of my own. He LOVED the texture. If he could only sit up and would get some teeth...then he would eat anything.

5. Never too many blueberries or peaches or muffins. I found this recipe on the Stoneyfield Farms yogurt container and have used it for strawberry, peach, and blueberry muffins. Yum!

6. Definitely not too many Legos, at least my boys don't think so. My mother-in-law saved the Legos from all four of her kids, so my husband and I estimate there are between 5 and 100 thousand of them. It's kind of hard to tell with Legos. Anyway, we decided it was time to introduce the boys to something greater than Duplos. They are in heaven. They played three solid hours without fighting at my in-laws' yesterday.

7. Absolutely never too much water in the summer. The pool. Didn't I mention that we go there a lot. Thought so. And we are off for a family vacation at the beach later this month. Yeah for water!

Just War Theory at Four?

Calvin was watching his daddy play a war strategy game on the computer yesterday. I think my husband was playing the Americans in some sort of early colonial battle, which makes this all the more interesting.

"Daddy, why are they fighting their enemies and trying to kill them? God says to love our enemies. They must not know about God."

"Good question, Calvin. Well...do you think you can love people and still fight them? Like sometimes you have fights with Sam when he is doing something unfair?"

"Yeah, but we just wrestle."

If only an international wrestling match could lead to world peace. Was that the original idea behind the Olympics?

Sometimes I Just Have To Laugh

Hobbes at bedtime last night:

"I need someone to lay with me! I need someone to lay with me! Someone please come lay with me...lay with me..."

This kept getting more and more faint until he finally drifted off to sleep.

Hobbes at naptime today:

"Mommy, I don't want you to lay with me! If you lay with me I won't sleep! I'm not going to sleep! Mommy, I don't want you to lay with me! I'm not going to sleep! I'm not going to sleep...I'm not going to..."

This time he fell asleep with me beside him. Ignoring the grammar issues for a minute, don't you think this boy needs to learn to make up his mind?

Is A Cherry Bomb in the Toilet in My Future?

It's busy at our house these days, and I am just not finding much energy for blogging. Thankfully, with all of the hard work of parenting, there are some really funny moments. Here's what you may have heard if you had been with us this weekend:

Calvin was in the car with hubby last night. We had just been at a meeting where we did a Gregorian chant in Latin.

Daddy: "Do you know what language that was, Calvin?"
Calvin: "Nope."
Daddy: "It was Latin."
Calvin: "Oh! I know that word. It was in one of my Magic Tree House books where they get whisked away to Ancient Rome. That's what the ancient Romans spoke."

They went on to discuss the importance of Ancient Rome and Greece and Israel to our heritage. I'm sooo unqualified to homeschool this kid. He's always one step (or ten) ahead of me.

But, that doesn't mean I am unqualified to teach my boys some manners. They have recently discovered potty language. (Why do all boys think this is funny, by the way?) My basic rule is that they cannot use it in front of mommy or in any sort of company. Basically, they can laugh about it in their room or with the other boys at school. I just don't want to hear it.

Calvin: "Poopy on your..."
Hobbes: "...head!"
Calvin: "Poopy on your..."
Hobbes: "...head!"
Me: "Boys! What did I say about potty language in front of me?"
Hobbes: "What, mommy? I was just saying head."

Funny as these moments were, the best was definitely tonight. Calvin was truly living up to his comic strip namesake. We were out at the in-laws, and my younger brother-in-law was there, which almost always means firecrackers or other sorts of dangerous fun. While I was busy getting dinner ready, Calvin and Hobbes concocted a plan.

Calvin: "Excuse me, Grandpa, could you please tell me where you keep the explosives around here? And we need some tape, too. Don't tell anybody. It'll be a surprise."

Just so you get an insight into my in-laws, my father-in-law did nothing to discourage this. In fact, it wasn't until my children grabbed some matches and walked out the door and I realized they also had a firecracker that someone interfered. Thankfully, that plan never saw the light of day...or set their fingers alight.

7 Quick Takes-Galactic Pee, Books to Read, and Holy Week

1. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the reality that I live in a house full of males. The other night, as Hobbes was preparing for his bath, I walked in on him standing in front of the toilet, ready to pee, saying "All systems are go!"

2. In case you can't tell from the above, space travel has been a big theme around this house for, oh, over a year now. It finds its way into everything from potty time to dinner time. Over and over again we have had to "correct" current books on the topic by insisting that Pluto IS a planet...well, sort of. The boys were just given some new solar system placemats that put the issue to rest. In the picture, the planets are circling the sun, all labeled with their correct names. On the outskirts there is a tiny planet with no name and a very sad face. When the boys first saw it, they were heard saying, "Don't be sad Pluto, you can still be a planet."

3. I have found a new addiction...not exactly Lenten of me, I know. Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Pretzel Slims are scrumptious! They have plenty of dark chocolate and just enough crunchy, salty pretzely-ness to be perfect. I could eat a whole bag in one sitting. So much for losing the baby weight.

On a more serious note...

4. In case you are looking for a good read for Holy Week, I highly recommend Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright. I am reading it right now, and it offers some incredible insight into the meaning of the Resurrection of Jesus and into resurrection and new creation in general. Good stuff.

5. If you are looking for other good reading, I have two books to recommend. I have been terribly remiss in not mentioning these before, since they were written by very good friends of mine. Give them a try, and help feed some starving academics and ministers! Unlocking Romans by my good friend and former housemate would also be an excellent, more academic read to complement Wright's on the topic of the resurrection.

6. And Giving:the Sacred Art, by my college roommate of four years (who could probably write a book on that topic, too, or at least win an award for putting up with me), is a wonderful look at the history and meaning of giving in many faith traditions. She includes practical ideas for creating a lifestyle of generosity. Oh, and all proceeds of her book go to charity.

7. Back on the topic of Holy Week, I hope to have a post up this weekend about what we are doing with the boys to observe Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter. We are going to a little pre-Palm Sunday party tomorrow where the kids will make some crosses from palm fronds and flowers to use at church on Sunday and where we assemble a Lenten/Easter garden. Holy Experience has a good example of this type of garden here.

Flowers For Sale

It started off with a reasonable question. I went outside to tell Calvin it was time to come in for dinner. There he was, sitting on the swingset ladder, staring off into space. The stomp rocket launcher he had bought Hobbes for a birthday present was there, but there were no rockets to be found.

"Calvin, where are the rockets to Hobbes' stomp rocket? We need to pick it up and go in for dinner."

"I don't know."

"What do you mean? Where did they land last time they were shot?"

"I don't know."

"Ok, well, who was shooting them?" (The neighbors had been playing, too.)

"I don't know."

"What do you mean 'You don't know'? Weren't you there when they were shot?"

"Yeah."

"Who shot them? Did they get lost? Do we need to go look for them?"

"I don't know."

Temper rising, "Calvin, did you shoot them? Where did they go ?!?"

"I don't remember."

"I think you do remember. It was just a few minutes ago. Why won't you tell me what happened? Are you lying to me? Why won't you tell me anything? Help me find the rockets, now!"

And so it went, on and on and on...we did manage to find one rocket after he finally told me that maybe he shot it and maybe it went over the trees into the neighbor's yard. And I was pretty certain that he was lying to me about the whole thing, for some reason. He finally confessed that he "thought" he had shot the rockets, but that he didn't know which direction they went.

It was a bad moment for both of us. Really bad. He kept evading my questions and partially lying to me about shooting the rockets, even though I told him it wasn't a big deal and that we just needed to look for them. I don't know why he was being so vague, except perhaps that he was afraid of getting in trouble. My temper rose, I accused him of lying about not knowing which direction they went. He got angry about being asked over and over and over. I told him he would have to earn the money to buy Hobbes some new rockets. He stayed outside, saying he needed to think of a plan to solve the problem. I went inside, hurt that he would lie to me. Angry that he was being so frustrating. Completely wrapped up in my own emotions and unwilling to believe anything other than what I thought had happened.

"Mommy, I have a plan to earn money to buy more rockets for Hobbes." He appears with two fists full of flowers plucked from our backyard jungle.

"What is it?"

"Wait...I need to go outside and remember."

He leaves and returns a few seconds later. "I remembered. I can sell these flowers on the side of the road and make money to buy new rockets. Isn't that a good idea?"

My heart breaks, "Yes, sweetheart, you could do that."

"Okay, let me get organized"

My heart breaks a little more as he sets to work.

"Mommy, how do you spell flowers?...There. Will that work?"

I turn to see the homemade sign. To him it is just a resourceful idea, a marketing tool, a way to make amends with his brother. To me? It's a sign of my brokenness.

Sometimes I make such big mistakes. Maybe he was just too distracted, just living so much in his mind, as he often is. Maybe he really did forget who shot those rockets and where they went. Maybe I should try to build trust and not break it. The least I could do was take the flowers and put them on the dining room table for dinner. A symbol of the beauty in him, in me, even when we make a mess of things.

7 Quick Takes-Getting Over Myself Edition

I'm finding that, among other things, Lent has become a time for me to get over myself, so to speak. The Spirit is gently showing me where I depend too much on the opinions of others or think I know too much or, in other words, teaching me to see the world outside of ME. I needed that kick in the pants!

1. I have a tendency to be critical about things that I actually can't do any better than the person I am criticizing. For example, I always criticize children's Sunday School curriculums. Now, I have never actually taken the time to write one, but that is beside the point. I just assume they don't actually teach kids much, and they certainly don't seem to teach Bible stories anymore, just use them as illustrations to make a point which may or may not be the actual point of the story. So when my sweet boys started asking to pray before meals and started praying things like, "Thank you, God for making me and my family. And thank you for your wonderful world. Thank you for giving us food. Thank you for giving us Baby Linus," I was tempted to think what a good mom I was for teaching them all these things. Then I looked back and saw that their Sunday School curriculum lately has been about God making the world and creating them and about worshiping through prayer. Hmmm...maybe those curriculums are worth something. I know the teachers are!

2. I have mentioned before that I am fasting from excessive internet time during Lent. Mostly this means that I am fasting from Facebook, to which I had become slightly addicted. I am learning how much I depend on the opinions of others for my sense of worth. Though Facebook allowed me to maintain relationships with good friends and to share important parts of our lives together, it also became a substitute for seeking a relationship with my Father. I will return to Facebook after Lent, but I hope that I will return with a new perspective and that my priority will be spending time with my face in His book first.

3. I am horrible at reaching out to form relationships with my neighbors. I don't think I used to be, but somewhere along the line in this motherhood thing, I became very insular. So, when my neighbors' kids, aged 10 and almost 5 started showing up at my door because they had forgotten their key and then just started showing up to ask Calvin and Hobbes to come and play, I finally got a clue that God might be using them. We'd only lived here for almost three years...God is patient! We had a bit of relationship with this family from Ecuador, but now our kids play outside with them whenever the weather is nice, and the mom and I have had two significant conversations about kids and life in general when she gets home in the afternoons. And, as with most things God wants us to do, this has been a blessing for me, as the older boy is really great with his sister and my boys and very willing to play with them. I can send them out in our backyard with no worries. (I had already been letting C&H play by themselves out there for a few months, but I had to check on them every 10 minutes or so because they fight so much when there aren't other kids around.)

4. I have spent a lot of time stressing out about parenting over the last few months. I have even been reading parenting books, which I avoided like the plague before now. Fortunately, my children keep thwarting my attempts to read too many of these books. Hobbes has been begging for my attention so much lately that I finally realized something. My kids don't need the perfect parent, a clean and organized home, or the ideal environment for their personality type. They just need me, flawed as I am, to sit with them in the midst of piles of laundry and read or do a puzzle or play a game. Really. It's that simple. God will take care of the rest if I am there and willing to let Him love through me.

5. A visit to the dentist's office is always a good lesson in humility for me. I think I have the world's worst teeth. I had two cavities filled as a five-year-old, and it's been downhill since then. I brush twice a day, floss at least 5 nights a week, don't chew gum or eat candy, and only drink the occasional sweet tea, never any cokes (sodas for you non-Southerners.) All of this, and every single time I go in, I have another cavity or a tooth that needs to be watched. EVERY SIX MONTHS! This time, because they couldn't do x-rays or fillings while I was pregnant, I have four fillings to get done. Fun! My husband? He brushes once a day, never flosses, drinks many more sugary drinks than I, and they tell him he brushes his teeth too hard. That's it. No cavities.

6. Finally, a funny "get over yourself, TwoSquare" moment:

I was in Tennessee this past weekend visiting my family. While I was playing on the floor with my niece and the boys, my niece asked, "Do you have another baby in your tummy?" When I replied in the negative, she asked, "Then why is your tummy so big?"

My friend, who had a baby around the same time that Linus was born, calls them our muffin tops. I tell her that the top is the best part of the muffin, but, really, I am not taking this post-baby weight with grace. Not at all.

7. And, in an effort to learn to live in my imperfection, I am leaving you with only 6 Quick Takes this week.

Check out Conversion Diary for more quick takes.

In Like a Lion...

We are having some nasty weather here for the beginning of March. It is just above freezing with some fierce rain that is supposed to turn to sleet and then snow. Say what you will about the cold of the Midwest, but I would take the cold and snow to rain that is barely above freezing any day! (Of course, I would never trade the rest of our weather for that in the Midwest...)

The whole weekend has been this miserable rainy-ness, and I am looking at a possible snow day tomorrow, meaning no preschool. That could leave me pretty grumpy, especially since Monday is the only morning I have home alone. But I am really, really trying to work on having a more cheerful attitude and enjoying my kids. Really. So, for your benefit and mine, I share two funny conversations from the weekend at our house. Here's to laughter and to this month going out like a lamb!

Daddy: "Honey, I'm doing multiplication with Calvin. I think he's getting it!"
Daddy (a little later): "Now we're doing division. He just told me that 8 divided by 3 is 2 with 2 remainders!"
Calvin (later in the day, holding up the sheet of paper that they had been working division on): "Can we PLEASE do some more math, Daddy?"
Daddy: "Well, if you're really good the rest of the day, we can do more as a treat."
Calvin: squeals of delight

and

Hobbes (snuggling with the baby in my bed while I was getting dressed this morning): "Mommy, why are you covering up the baby's milk?"
Mommy: roaring laughter and complete inability to answer question, making a mental note to be more intentional about teaching anatomical vocabulary

If only they could keep this innocence about life and excitement about learning...but they will too soon become young men. I'm trying to enjoy them now so that I can enjoy them then, without regrets about the past.

Flying

Calvin to his Daddy in the car: There are three stages to life, Daddy. The first stage is when you are kid and you do what your parents tell you to do. The second stage is when you are an adult and you have to do the things adults have to do. The third stage is when you get thrusters on your feet and can fly.

I want to remember these images. You, flying down a hill at Gram's on a makeshift sled, laughing, arms up in the air, fearless. You, thrilled to stand up after following my instructions and seeing your first snow angel, wings spreading far. You, trudging back up the hill carrying that heavy piece of black plastic behind you, ready to go flying again. You, stopping halfway up when a patch of unsullied snow caught your eye. You, flopping down on your back on that clean, white canvas, spreading arms and legs and standing again to enjoy your creation. You, doing the same thing over and over again until Gram's yard had a half-dozen angels and even more sled tracks. You, hat tilted back so your ears won't be covered, rosy cheeked and smiling as the sun turns the white yard to diamonds. You, shining brighter than it all, so full of life and joy and adventure. You, ready to fly.

I want to remember, because I so rarely see this anymore. So often you are angry or frustrated or sad or serious beyond your four and a half years. So often we spend all of our days yelling and fighting and crying instead of laughing. I don't know what we have done wrong, your daddy and I, that we don't know how to teach you well without bringing out such anger and defensiveness. But I do know that the boy I see most days is not really you. The boy of clinched fists and wrinkled brow, angry words and violent temper. That is not really you.

You, goofy and smart and sensitive and curious, ready for an adventure, throwing your arms up to the sky. That is how He created you. If only I could help you find that boy. Unclinch your fists and fly.

"...o' mice an' men..."

a post for those of you who always tell me how well-behaved my children are...

The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men...

• pick boys up at preschool
• unload groceries
• read books with boys
• settle Hobbes in bed while Calvin has quiet time
• settle Calvin down for a nap
• do some work and rest a bit
• put bread in bread machine for dinner
• have snack time and do a craft for Daddy's birthday
• pick up veggie box from CSA
• cook dinner to serve with yummy bread while boys play or watch video
• welcome hubby home for dinner and birthday
  

...Gang aft agley,

• pick up boys from preschool
• unload groceries
• read books with boys
• settle Hobbes in bed while Calvin has quiet time (so far so good)
• casually mention to Calvin that he might want to try a nap
• spend next 30 minutes trying to calm Calvin's emotional meltdown and convince him that holding him gently is not hurting him, just keeping him from hurting himself or me
• send Calvin to bed with a book while I rock a completely awake Hobbes to sleep
• spend another hour alternately listening to Calvin melt down, bursting into tears myself, having a discussion with Calvin about speaking respectfully, trusting Mommy, not being violent, and finding healthy ways to express his emotions
• leave room having completely given up
• return when a calmed Calvin asks for help sleeping, even though it is really too late for him to nap
• enjoy 15 minutes of detox time until Hobbes wakes up, having wet himself and his bed
• change Hobbes and give him a snack, forget to feed self and baby
• rouse Calvin from bed just in time to run out for CSA box
• return to wash wet bedclothes in time for bed tonight, realize I am starving
  
• throw children on hubby as soon as he comes home and heat up leftovers for dinner

Sorry, love! So much for a peaceful birthday evening.

Go Ahead and Try, It's Not Going to Kill You

Today was Hobbes' first day of Chinese preschool. He is a little young to be starting, but the other option was to start him in January, right after the baby comes. We figured he only needed one major life change at once. To say I was worried about how he would do is an understatement. When I try to leave him in the nursery at church, he always cries pitifully, and though he stops crying, he starts up again as soon as he sees me. From what I know, that means he is just waiting until he feels safe to cry.

Our nursery is a very safe and friendly place, full of kids that he sees on a regular basis outside of Sunday mornings. The same woman works in there every Sunday, and the other volunteers and teens who help in there are people he loves outside of nursery. School, on the other hand, is full of people he doesn't know speaking another language. The only thing it has going for it is that Calvin is there. Last Spring, I tried to leave him there a couple of times while I was at a parents' committee meeting. Even with me in the building and Calvin right there to play with him, he came crying to me.

Needless to say, I was prepared for a scene when I dropped the boys off...and maybe a phone call later saying I needed to come calm a crying boy. I was so worried, in fact, the my husband had assured me we could pull Hobbes out if it wasn't working (a substantial financial loss). Imagine my surprise when I dropped him off this morning, said good-bye, and barely got an acknowledgment when I left. Not a single tear.

And when I picked him up this afternoon? He came running to me saying, "I didn't even die, Mommy! Not at all!" Well, I wasn't to worried about that...It sounds much more dramatic until you know what he was actually saying.

And me? I was able to enjoy a child-free morning catching up on some reading and work at a coffee shop and getting stuff done around the house. I don't think this situation is going to be too bad for my health, either.

I'm No Ace of Cakes but I Received an Award Anyway

Calvin turned four on Saturday, and per his request, I attempted to make a space shuttle cake. To understand what a big undertaking this was for me, you should realize that the most elaborate cake I have ever made was a cake mix in two round pans, layered, iced, and covered in sprinkles. Usually, we get cake mix in a rectangular pan, poorly iced. This was still a box mix (actually two) and store bought icing, and it certainly isn't flight-ready. We nearly lost the icing on the 40 minute drive to my in-laws on the hottest day in weeks, but we got the cake in the freezer just in time, only a few minor cracks. As an added touch, we stuck the candles in the back to light them, so that the shuttle engines were "firing." Thankfully, four-year-olds are easily pleased, and I wasn't expected to be an ace of cakes.

In line with the space theme, Calvin received a plethora of space presents, including an astronaut suit that convinced me that he needs a career involving a uniform. Calvin has always had this way of revealing what he will look like as a grown man (we called him a little old man when he was a baby), and I have never seen it more clearly than I did in that suit. He is going to be a handsome fella! The helmet for the suit is about five times the size of a toddler's head, and Hobbes amused us all by walking around, helmet down over his shoulders, visor hiding his face, shouting "1-2-3-4-5 Blast Off!" (Hobbes hasn't quite figured out counting down.) Calvin also received a rocket from his Daddy, which they proceeded to shoot off a couple of times in my in-laws' huge field. All-in-all, it was a fantastic sort of day, even if it was as hot as Mercury!

Now we are suffering from some severe post-birthday syndrome, compounded by post-Nana syndrome, and it has been a rough day. I pretty much forced them both to take naps to keep us all sane. Hopefully I will have some interesting posts up soon, but I wanted to get a pic of the cake for those who requested it. I'm not sure why you wanted to see it, but now you have. I'm certainly not a brilliant cake maker.

I don't think I am a brilliant blogger, either, but Kerry of Ten O'Clock Scholar was kind enough to pass this award to me anyway.


I am not too good at this award thing, but I will pass it on to a few people. If you read my blog and see your name here, feel free to pass this on to others. Thanks for giving me such good food for thought!

Tipper at Blind Pig and the Acorn posts wonderful stories and music of my beloved Appalachia. She also gives away a wonderful piece of her folk art every month, so check her out.

My real-life friends Catherine and Farrah always write honest and thoughtful posts about motherhood and faith and many other topics. You won't be sorry you visited their blogs.

Kate at A Telling Place already received this award from Kerry, but that shows you how great her writing is. She is a Blue Ridge mountaineer living in Scotland, and her honest and deep writing has challenged me regularly over the past few months. She also has great taste in books.

My husband says that if you only read one blog it should be Father Stephen's. I am inclined to agree with him. A more humble, thoughtful, and well-written blog I have never found. Be careful, though, or he may convince you to convert to Orthodoxy!