Thursday, January 24, 2008

Calvinisms (an ongoing series)

I am really enjoying the conversation on contraception, and I am hoping to write another post this weekend asking some new questions about the issue. In the meantime, here is some lightheartedness from our little source of laughter.

On Learning the Art of Sympathy

Before dinner tonight, I was lamenting the fact that I never can cook a pot roast well. The dry roast and the mushy potatoes had pushed me over the edge on an already difficult day, and I was breaking down.

"I can't even cook!" I moaned.

To which Calvin replied, trying in earnest to be sympathetic, "I am so sad that I have a mommy who can't even cook."

On Higher Education

Calvin recently heard us talking about a PhD to someone, and he asked me what the term meant. He has since been going around saying that he wants to get a PhD one day. Tonight, my sister-in-law was babysitting the boys, and he asked her how he would go about getting a PhD. She explained that you have to go to school for a long time.

He responded, "I already go to Chinese school. Could I get a Chinese PhD? Ooooh! I really want to get a Chinese PhD!" (My sister-in-law noted that it is a shame I can't show you the expressiveness of Calvin's speech in writing. He really is quite overdramatic.)

On the Joys of New Discovery

Lest you think his genius is too good to be true, he had this conversation with his aunt during bath time tonight.

"Oh, Auntie __, have you ever seen someone pass gas in the bathtub and it make bubbles? Did you know that it makes bubbles?"

To which the Aunt responded that she did, in fact, know that it made bubbles.

"Auntie __, have you ever passed gas in the bathtub and made bubbles?"

To which she responded the only way she could, in complete laughter.

The things I have to look forward to, Chinese PhD's and farting contests.


wheelsonthebus said...

Poor kid. A mommy who cannot cook.

Try your best to discourage the PhD!


Catherine said...

I think his PhD is pretty much in the bag...

Ah, I can't cook either, but my pot roasts turn out ok if I brown it then cook in the crock pot...have you tried that method? I love crock pots. Pretty much the only cooking I do that isn't Asher initiated...

Laura said...

Uh, girl... You are one of the best Southern cooks and afficionados of Southern cuisine that I know.
And Calvin has just proven to anyone who knows you that he will NOT be getting his PhD in anything related to the physiology of taste.

My advice to Calvin: find a sugar mama early in life to put you through the lean years of obtaining that PhD!

TwoSquareMeals said...

Just to clarify, I actually really enjoy cooking and do a pretty good job at it. But my pot roasts always turn out badly, no matter how I cook them. I can't do them in the crock pot, on the stove, or in the oven. They almost always end up overdone or undercooked. Thank God for gravy!

Honestly, Calvin gobbled up the food. He was just trying to sympathize with me before he even tried it.

And I think the PhD is out of my hands. The kid is teaching himself to read and making me all lazy about the homeschooling thing before it even starts. I'll just let him teach himself.