Sunday, August 17, 2008

Not Even Most of the Time

When Calvin said that no one can be perfect all of the time, I should have been forewarned. The past three or four days have been terrible with him. Talking back, screaming, tantrums, and defiance have been the norm. I would chalk it up to a little post-beach depression, but he is never this bad, not even during the days following a visit from Nana. A little bad behavior is to be expected a the end of a stretch of fun, out of the ordinary days-but nothing like this!

As I've written before, my boys are very different when it comes to emotions and will. Hobbes's bad behavior can be physically tiring, but it is pretty typical two-year-old stuff. Calvin's attitude shifts are a whole different sort of beast, and this time around they are leaving me absolutely emotionally exhausted, not to mention the physical exhaustion of dealing with two boys and being pregnant. I know there must be something behind this atypical behavior, but I have yet to uncover it. He has been given the parameters for acceptable behavior. Every time he steps outside of those, he is disciplined. We are being more strict about his sleep schedule and making sure things are as stable as possible. He is having lots of Daddy time, and I am trying to show him a lot of affirmation and love when he isn't throwing a tantrum that forces me to keep my distance in order not to get hurt.

Still, nothing seems to be working. I'm at the end of my rope, staring at the beginning of a week of being home alone with them. My husband's classes start up again this week, so we are looking at some long days without Daddy around.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this, only that I need to put it down to realize it's okay to feel this way. And perhaps to remind myself that I need to pray. There is nothing else I can do for Calvin, and I have to trust that God can. This parenting thing is awfully sanctifying and faith-building if nothing else.

2 comments:

tipper said...

I hope it made you feel better to get it all typed out. I know that sometimes helps me. I don't really have any advice-but I will say a prayer for both of you!

MHL said...

All kids get irritable without enough sleep, but one of my two is a completely different person when he stays up late or gets up extra early. So maybe you're on the right track with that.

Good luck. I know it seems bad now, but I'm sure you will make it through OK.