In Two Months...

...we will celebrate your birth. How did I miss so much of this year, sweet Linus? It seems that Calvin's first year was in slow motion. I had time to watch him while he slept, to play games with him, to record every moment, every tiny new development. Even Hobbes' first year had plenty of slow moments. We were still so very much in the baby phase of life.

But you, third child with the much older brothers, you just come along for the ride. You sleep in your car seat where I can't see you. On the rare days we are at home for your naps, I am just thankful that I can put you down and let you soothe yourself to sleep. I rarely stop to watch your beautiful baby rest.

Or to play with you. You have to remind me to do that. Lately, you have started initiating peek-a-boo with us, covering your face with your quilt in the crib and then pulling it down and squealing with delight when we say, "Where is Linus? Peek-a-boo!" And you love to play ball, sitting in the floor throwing or handing the ball to me for me to throw back.

Somewhere in there you have learned to crawl and pull up and feed yourself. You are trying so hard to balance on your own, and I am sure you will be walking next time I remember to turn around and look at you. And you are working on all sorts of language in your head. I can tell. I hear the garbled sounds coming out, attempts to say your brothers' names or the names of objects. I swear you have said "all done" and "more" and "bath" on more than one occasion. You definitely say "DaDa" a lot. You love your daddy.

All of these things have happened without my really noticing, really enjoying the moments. I don't completely ignore you. No one could, with your engaging smile, contagious joy, and sweet spirit. But I do wish I had slowed down more often this past ten months to really just enjoy being your mama.

I will try to do that more sweet one, as we prepare and wait for the coming of the King and for the celebration of your birth. That's one day I do remember. Every detail of it.