And Also With You

"Calvin, you can't say those words to Auntie S. Words have meaning, and when you say that you don't love her you are saying what those words mean, even if you don't really think you are. You need to apologize and tell Auntie S that you love her."

It seems we have this conversation a lot with our boys. We tell them that we don't say words like that in our family, that we love one another because we are family and because God placed us together. We stress that these are the relationships that we must guard most closely because our parents and brothers and aunts and uncles and grandparents will be with us the rest of our lives. Even when we are halfway around the world, these relationships will come with us. They are gifts to be cherished.

~~~

Some say that the very repetition of the liturgy, Sunday after Sunday, renders it meaningless, but I don't agree. The words I say matter, not because of how I feel about them, but because the truth in them has power to change me. Every Sunday, as I recite the Nicene Creed and pray the prayer of confession and offer the "Peace of Christ" to those around me, those words mean something.

Whether I have conjured enough faith in my heart or paid enough attention to each word that Sunday matters little. I have chosen to say those words and those words have meaning. By saying them, I choose to be transformed by them and to join the community of the church, both in that building on Sunday and throughout all of history.

Some Sundays I am distracted by children or exhausted by life and go through almost an entire liturgy without thinking about what I am saying. But it never fails that one word or phrase or prayer jolts me out of my distraction and reminds me of the cosmic reality, the meaning behind those words.

"The Lord be with you."

"And also with you."

We say these words every Sunday during the Eucharistic liturgy, as the priest begins preparing the table. So often I have said it and only half thought about it, but this past week, as I looked at our pastor and dear friend who was serving the Eucharist, the meaning behind what I said moved me to tears. Suddenly I knew, beyond any doubt, that I truly wanted the Lord, in all of His fullness, to be with our rector and with that beautiful group of people gathered to commune around His table. Because of that moment, because of the meaning of those words, my soul was changed. I am certain that when I am halfway around the world and remembering that liturgy, even as my church family is saying it aloud together, my soul will be knit to theirs. I know that, because the Lord is with me and also with them, we are united in His love.

Words have meaning, and when I say them I am transformed. When we say them together, our souls are united in worship. No matter how alone I am feeling in a foreign country, no matter how much my faith may whither, I can speak the words of the liturgy and know that there is a greater truth than how I am feeling. The Word, who cares about my feelings and my struggles, meets me in that liturgy, and the strength of the community sustains me when I am too weak to say the words alone.

We love one another because we are family and because God placed us together. These are the relationships that we must guard most closely because our spiritual parents and brothers and aunts and uncles and grandparents will be with us the rest of our lives. Even when we are halfway around the world, these relationships will come with us. They are gifts to be cherished.

~~~

And so Calvin and Hobbes say the words of apology and love, sometimes sincerely and sometimes still protesting in their hearts while they repeat what we have said. But they say them because those words have the power to transform them, to remind them that they do love, to unite them to a truth greater than their own emotions.

"I love you Auntie S."

"The Lord be with you..."

7 Quick Takes for Lent

I can't believe it has been two weeks since I wrote here! There have been so many times I have wanted to sit and write, but the rhythm of our lives has changed with the observance of Lent. Though it is a good thing, it has left me little room for writing or being on the computer. Here's some of what we've been up to and what I've been thinking about. For more Quick Takes, visit Jen.

-1-

My husband fashioned the cross pictured in my header from two pieces of our Christmas tree. It was an idea I had seen in an Anglican Lenten Carnival post some time back, and I filed it away for this year. The first candle was lit on Ash Wednesday, and each Sunday, we light one more candle. It will be fully lit on Palm Sunday, and on Maundy Thursday we will light the purple candles for the last time. On Easter Sunday, we will replace the purple candles with white for our Easter celebration breakfast. We'll see if it sticks around for the full season of Easter or not. It's not too late to craft one of these from any wood (though the Christmas tree symbolism was nice), and if my husband and I can do it, you can. We are not crafty people!

-2-

I think I mentioned this before, but we are fasting from artificial light after sundown during Lent. More than our food fasts and our limited computer usage, this fast has changed the entire feel of our days. We are going to bed earlier and rising earlier and finding ourselves more disciplined to finish our tasks before the dark sets in. I am amazed at how much this is changing our lifestyle in a very good way. I think as we settle into it I will find more time for rest and reflection at the end of the day and may even start getting up early enough to really begin my day in prayer. Once Lent is over, we may continue this one evening a week, probably Saturdays, as a time of rest and preparation for the Sabbath day.

-3-

Other than the family fast from light and a fasting from computer games (except on Sundays), I don't feel like I am doing much to include the boys in Lent this year. We have had good times of talking about it during our prayer times in the evenings, and we are teaching the boys the prayer of confession from the Book of Common Prayer. Other than that, though, I don't feel like our house seems different this time of year like it does at Advent. I would love to know what my liturgically minded friends out there do to the home environment to set this time apart. Maybe fasting is enough.

-4-

During this season, I've really been appreciating the wisdom of the ancient church in establishing the church calendar as they did. Lent comes at the perfect time. After the anticipation and celebration of Christmas and the complete loss of routine and discipline that often occurs around holidays, I find myself longing for a return to order and simplicity and for a chance to fast. Our culture's tradition of New Year's resolutions is a good one, but I think it comes too early. If the spirit of the resolution really is to rid oneself of bad habits and begin developing new ones, then it is a secular version of Lent. And by the time February rolls around, I have had enough time to get over the exhaustion of the holidays and find myself longing to change things and make order and clean out, both literally and figuratively. I am not ready for that on January 1st. I can resolve to eat right or to exercise or to get more sleep all I want, but I rarely stick with it.

But I enter Lent with an intention to deny myself something enjoyable (sweets, entertainment, the need to accomplish something) in order to make room for something better (times of prayer, the discipline of training my body, a rested body and mind that can serve and love more patiently). When I meditate on the sufferings of Christ as I deny myself these immediate pleasures, these resolutions suddenly have a spiritual significance. They are no longer about just looking or feeling better, they allow me to enter into the spiritual reality of Christ's suffering and death. And, most importantly, I have the joy of Easter resurrection awaiting me at the end. (And, hopefully, after six weeks of spiritual discipline some of these changes will stick and strengthen my body and soul.)

-5-

I am looking for some good books for children during Lent. I have a book on the Stations of the Cross that I plan to pull out, and I am super excited about a Stations of the Cross experience that our church is putting on this Sunday. They are having art and sensory experiences and music, a variety of things at different stations. They are opening it up for families to come with young children at the beginning of the evening, and I think we will take our boys.

But this take was about books. Any suggestions for good books for the boys to focus them on the ideas of Lent? I will be pulling out our books about caterpillars turning to butterflies and seeds turning to plants and eggs hatching into birds and all of those lovely Springtime images that God put in nature to reflect the spiritual reality of New Creation. Anything else?

-6-

Because Lent is often a traditional time for Spring cleaning, I am trying to use this time to step up my purging and cleaning out and preparing our house for the market and our belongings for our move overseas. The task ahead seems so big, and I am find myself doubting so often that we will ever get to the mission field. But one thing this artificial light fast is teaching me is to focus on one task at a time and to work diligently. When I really do that, I find myself able to trust that the big picture will be taken care of as I am faithful to do all I can and not try to do more.

-7-

If you are fasting from meat for Lent, Jessica has some great recipes up. I linked to this two weeks ago, but now I have tried two of the recipes. I loved the curried lentils and rice, and the broccoli calzones were a hit with everyone in the family. I think her most recent post has a couple more links to vegetarian recipes, so check it out.

-8-

And a superfluous take for good measure. Kate at A Telling Place has been posting some beautiful and poignant poems and readings this Lent. I especially love this one...and this one...and this one (because I love Annie Dillard). Many are good images and thoughts in preparation for the darkness of Good Friday.

7 Quick Takes

Things are going better around these parts lately. Calvin is settling down a bit, and I am remembering to enjoy him and not just survive him. That means I have time to think of other things and even enjoy some good British comedy. What are you up to? For other Quick Takes, go visit Jen.

-1-

Is anyone else as creeped out by Google Buzz as I am? I was so disturbed to log onto my e-mail yesterday morning to find that I was already signed up for Buzz and that people were "following" me, whatever that means. And there is no way to completely get rid of Buzz, so far as I can tell. Creepy! I am actually really angry at Google for assuming I wanted my privacy violated for the sake of their newest invention, and I am considering deleting my gmail account and switching to a host for this blog that is not connected to Google. Am I just paranoid, or is this whole Buzz thing scary?

-2-

On a not at all lighter note, I have been following the controversy over the Tim Tebow Super Bowl ad pretty closely. I found this article and this one interesting. I personally thought it was not that big of a deal when it came down to it, though it would have been interesting to see what CBS would have done if a similarly understated pro-choice ad had been submitted. Anyway, the whole controversy has sparked a very honest and respectful discussion over at Emily's blog. Go check it out, but only if you can contribute in the respectful tone that has been set.

-3-

Lent is almost upon us. We are contemplating a few fasts for this season. I am still trying to figure out if we can do a fast from meat, since Linus refuses to eat eggs or cheese or beans. If we do it, Jessica has some links to great recipes. We are also going to do an internet fast. I may still blog, and we will still use e-mail. But reading blogs, browsing the internet for information, and Facebook are off limits. Finally, we are planning to fast from artificial light after supper. We are hoping this will help us to use our time during the day well, develop discipline, and order our days rightly by practicing mini-sabbaths in the evenings. The boys are still contemplating what they want to give up, probably computer games every day except Sunday.

-4-

Bishop N.T. Wright suggests that if something is given up during Lent something should be taken up during Easter. I am still contemplating this. I think for the boys I'll make a cross out of construction paper. When one of us notices another person in the family doing something kind or merciful or unselfish or otherwise good, we will put a flower sticker on the cross. Hopefully it will be covered with flowers by the end of Easter.

-5-

I just finished reading The Supper of the Lamb and loved it! My favorite chapter is the one on wine, which Capon titles "Water in Excelsis" Isn't that great? I would put some good quotations here to draw you in, but there are too many. If you love food and are at all sacramental in your theology, you will like this book. It might not be the best reading for Lent, though, as the recipes will make you want to try them right away. Then again, he does have some good thoughts on fasting and feasting.

-6-

My husband and I have lately been taking advantage of our Netflix subscription to watch the videos they have available online. Our latest obsession has been Fawlty Towers. If you like British comedy and have never seen this show, you should. How can you not love John Cleese as a misanthropic hotel owner? Great stuff!

-7-

Finally, if you are late with organizing things like I am, you may not have planned your Valentine's celebrations yet. My husband and I aren't big Valentine's Day people, but I am planning to make cupcakes with the boys and do this cute craft (thanks to Jessica for the link). They would make good gifts. I suppose we should celebrate and learn about St. Valentine on Sunday, but we will probably be busy eating jiao zi and welcoming in the new year. Happy Year of the Tiger!

Nothing to See Here...

The past month has been so unbelievably disorganized, exhausting, trying (in matters of child discipline), and unstructured. I am resolving to get disciplined, work on the projects I have let go, and spend a lot of time praying for God to help us prioritize, find perspective, and know His presence in the midst of the huge amount of work that needs to be done over the next several months.

As step one, I am spending this week working on some purging and sorting of toys, clothes, and books. Since I will likely not be around much, here's some stuff that has brought me some joy.

Avatar
I saw it this past week and really enjoyed it. Here is a good review of it from a Christian perspective, but it has spoilers. See the movie first, then read the review.

Epiphany
Wednesday is Epiphany, the traditional day for celebrating the Wise Men coming to worship Jesus. Though our Advent and Christmas celebrations were almost nearly a failure, I am hoping to have a bit of fun Wednesday. I'll be making this cake for breakfast or for dessert after supper, and the boys will probably make crowns and read the Christmas story one last time.

New Year's Resolutions
I have not really made many yet this year, but this post got me thinking. I think instead of trying to change a bunch of things at once, I am going to try to work on one thing a week, keeping at it until I am ready to move onto the next. First on the list is getting enough sleep, which I am hoping will make all of the others (yelling less at my children, moving more slowly and intentionally through my day, praying more, exercising, etc...) easier to accomplish.

Hope
This post by Emily, who is very different from me in almost all matters of world view and political opinion, gives me hope that our country is not so divided that it can't be healed. In fact, I love her blog for many reasons, but I love it most of all because folks with very different opinions tend to have civilized conversations there.

Good Listening
If you haven't been listening to the History of Rome podcast, then you need to. It is totally entertaining and educational, and all Americans should be required to study this stuff to understand our own history better and to learn from the mistakes of the past. Really, I don't even love history that much, and I love it.

I'll see you sometime later, after I dig my way out of this pile of stuff!

Easy Advent Wreath Tutorial

Isn't this lovely? I'm going to tell you how to make it. But first, don't forget the Advent Carnival over at Kerry's blog. I've been so busy catching up from all of the Thanksgiving travel that I haven't had time to sit down and read the entries yet, but I plan to do it today.

Now, on to the wreath. I know many of you already have your Advent wreaths out and are all organized for the season. On the off chance that there are some of you out there who (like me) are still pulling out the Advent candles and Jesse tree ornaments and Christmas books, here's an easy way to make a lovely wreath. Thank you, wonderful women at my church, who organized this wreath making at our Sunday's Advent potluck. Otherwise, we still wouldn't have a wreath.

All you need for this is an aluminum pie plate, a cube of florist's oasis (that green foamy stuff that holds water), some greenery clipped from your yard, Christmas tree, neighbor's garden, or the roadside, clippers or scissors to trim the greens, and candles.

I am TERRIBLE at arranging flowers, and I can do this. I know you can, too.

Soak the oasis to get it good and wet and set it in the pie plate. You want it square, not round, for holding all of the candles. To make the wreath look round, just use shorter pieces of greenery on the corners.

Starting at the bottom, insert greenery in the wreath. It's nice to use bigger stuff on the bottom and alternate more feathery and smooth greenery, but any way you do it, it will look nice.

Insert the candles at the top. (Caution, you only have one shot at this, as once they are inserted you can't pull them out and get them to stay again. The hole will be too big.)

Use smaller greenery to cover the oasis on the top around the candles.

Don't make anything too tall or the candles will burn it once they get low, and the greenery, likely to be dried out by then, will burst into flames causing a major Christmas catastrophe...or something like that.

Keep water in the bottom of the pie plate to keep the wreath fresh. If greenery dries out, you can always clip some more and replace it.

Isn't that easy? And pretty?

God Made Flesh

Advent and Christmas are a time mixed with great joy and sadness for so many. For us, Advent is a time of longing for the second coming of Jesus, of being reunited with loved ones who are with the saints. This year, we long for my Grandma to be well enough to enjoy this (most likely her last) Christmas with us. Her hand is pictured below, with sweet Linus' fingers. So much sadness and so much joy in those moments together, the dying and the just beginning to live.

Newborn and old, living and dying, all come together in Jesus, swallowed up in His coming glory, into a life that never dies. May you enjoy this time of preparing for the Christ child and for His return in glory.


It was a simple question. “Hobbes, what are we waiting for during Advent?”

“For the baby to come. Our baby. Baby Jesus.”

I suppose it was inevitable, with my due date being only a week after Christmas, but we all still thought it was funny that he kept confusing our baby with the baby Jesus. They were such separate things, after all. Our baby was just a simple human, beautiful but flawed. But Jesus? He was Emmanuel, God with us! He was no simple human. He came as the Messiah. He was God made flesh.

God in a womb, with a tiny heart beating, tiny fingers and toes forming, tiny lungs growing. God joyfully kicking a rib cage and weighing down a tired, pregnant woman on the rough roads to Bethlehem. God making His way into the world through the painful work of labor. God born into the meager shelter of a cave with only animals to watch.

Did you ever really stop to think what that means? Our nativity scenes and carols seem so benign, too pristine and peaceful to convey what really must have happened that night. It was a beautiful and sacred moment, no doubt. But it was also a messy, difficult, and terrifying one. Any woman who has been through labor knows that all is not calm when a baby makes his entrance into the world.

I will admit that I wasn’t meditating much on the nativity of Jesus or on what Mary must have felt as I navigated my way through that long Christmas Day of labor. For many of the hours, and certainly in that last painful, violent hour, I just wanted the pain to end. I had a clean room and caring midwives and nurses. I was in a familiar place with family nearby. I had all of the advantages of modern medicine, but it was still an exhausting and messy affair.

But when I held my third son in my arms, so tiny and beautiful and red from the reality of labor, I understood what it meant to be “made flesh.” Maybe Hobbes wasn’t so wrong after all. Jesus and our baby were so very different and so very much alike.

In Christ, God stepped into our world, in all of its messiness and pain and exhaustion and fear. He became flesh, Emmanuel, God with us. The Creator entered His creation to bring to birth that for which creation, and we, are groaning. And just as I longed for that painful day to end and my baby to come, so we all long for His coming, for the end of suffering and the glory of His Kingdom.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies." ( Romans 8:18-23, ESV)

For more entries in the Advent Carnival, go on over to Kerry's blog. If you want to know more about how our family celebrates Advent, read here or here or here.

Advent Carnival Coming Up!

The Carnival of Anglican Advent Traditions is coming up. If you want to participate, write a post about Advent, what it means to you, how you or your family observes it, etc. Details are over at Kerry's blog. Posts due November 27.

I highly recommend you participate or at least read the posts. I have met some incredibly insightful and inspiring bloggers through the Advent Carnival, not to mention the amazing ideas I've collected for celebrating with my family.

Go on and write! Hopefully I'll see you there!

7 Quick Takes-I Miss This Blog!

I miss writing and processing and using this space to help me think more clearly! But life is just so very busy now that Linus is on the move. I'm grateful more than ever these days for Quick Takes on Fridays. Otherwise, I might never get a post up. Head on over to Jen's blog for more Quick Takes.

1

We have recently discovered Howard Pyle's books here in the TwoSquare household. Have you read him? If you have boys in your home, you really must. (Recommendations for other good boy books are appreciated!) We are reading Men of Iron aloud right now, and Calvin loves it. He walks around all day speaking in this lovely antiquated language. "Nay, mother, I will not do that, quoth he." It's hilarious, except that he thinks it's clever to say "no" to us this way.

2

We discovered Pyle because we were looking for good versions of the King Arthur legend for Calvin. It seems the space obsession is fading, and we are into all things King Arthur around here. I am excited about the possibilities here. A medieval themed dinner, a knight's quest party for some boys, and making swords with Daddy are all possibilities. This is what my husband has been waiting for since Calvin was born. Considering he owns swords and chain mail, is it so surprising?

3

It has been raining for three days here, and today is likely to be another one. Over four inches of cold, miserable rain, three days stuck in our tiny house, and a baby brother who needs some bit of quiet to nap made for some restless boys. So yesterday we pulled out the couch bed, popped some popcorn and watched movies for the afternoon. It was SO good for me to just enjoy being with my boys and stop worrying about all that needs to be done around here. SO GOOD. I need more of that.

4

You may be noticing that these snippets of family life don't include a lot of real homeschooling. I think I am already a homeschool failure. I certainly don't think we are doing what works for our family. I scrapped any plans I had and am starting to pay attention to how we work as a family and how my boys learn best. Unschooling is seeming more and more appealing, combined with some more structured classical learning when they get older. Is that even possible?

5

One schooling thing that is working is Chinese Preschool. For so long I wondered what we were paying the tuition for, but in the past few weeks, both Calvin and Hobbes have discovered the fun of showing off their Chinese for us. I often hear them singing Chinese songs and using Chinese words around one another, and they are finally willing to speak it for us. I am amazed how kids learn a second language so intuitively. I studied this, so I should know it. But seeing it in real life is so fascinating!

6

Advent is in less than three weeks. Are you ready? I ordered a few new Christmas books for the kids, and I found a couple of Advent activity books that I may try to use. We are planning to do our usual Jesse Tree and other Advent traditions. Check out this post and this one and this one if you are interested in knowing what we do around here. And this post tells what we do about Santa. Let me know what you're doing, too!

7

So...not that anyone but me cares....but things aren't looking so good for Tennessee's football players. I have long thought the quality of the players reflected the caliber of the coach, his ability to inspire discipline and hard work and his modeling of a life of integrity. It will be interesting to see if this current disaster is a reflection of the way things are going to be at UT under our new coach. I sure hope not. I'd hate to be ashamed to wear my orange.

Even Tax Collectors Get a Saint

Happy Feast of St. Matthew.

We haven't ever really celebrated saint's days, but I figure now is as good a time as any. I have been using the Divine Hours books by Phyllis Tickle for my prayer time, and she always notes the feast days. Maybe I'll read the boys the story of Levi (Matthew before Jesus called him and changed his name). If you are interested, here are a few links:

Venerable Bede on St. Matthew (a convicting sermon)

Brief summary of St. Matthew with ideas for celebrating today

A blog post I stumbled upon with good ideas for celebrating

Also, one website suggested baking a cake with coins in it and reading the parable of the hidden treasure in Matthew 13.

All good ideas. What are you planning to do?

Pentecost Blog Carnival-Deadline Tomorrow!

If you are of the liturgical, Christian type, Jessica over at Homemaking Through the Church Year is hosting a Pentecost Blog Carnival. I have participated in Lenten and Advent Carnivals before and loved the chance to see how other like-minded women celebrate the seasons of the church year. Go on over to her site to submit a post, old ones are fine. The deadline is Friday.

I am overwhelmed around here with company coming (a VERY good thing), dealing with my grandma's illness, post-partum depression, and generally just not coping with life well. So, I may not get a post in...but I wanted to let you know in case you want to participate!

Holy Week at TwoSquare

I'll admit that my Lenten fast and preparations for Holy Week have been less than stellar this year. Baby Linus' once good sleep patterns are now terrible, and I am sort of just making it through the days. So I am not expecting much this week in the way of great family worship and lessons. But here is what we are doing.

We made a Lenten Garden for Holy Week, thanks to another mom from church who set up a craft day on Saturday. Basically, it is a shallow pan filled with sand and dirt. We placed a small plastic dish in the garden and filled it with pretty stones and water. The boys made a tomb out of modeling clay (and a few rockets and space ships...because what is any craft worth if it doesn't have space stuff in it?). We made a path of stones leading up to the tomb lined with white birthday cake candles for each day of the week and leading to a white votive candle at the tomb. Today, we planted some rye grass seed in it and put a bare tree branch beside the tomb. (Spring has arrived here, so I had to strip a branch of its leaves.)

The idea is to have the garden come alive for Easter. So we will mist the seeds every day and hope they begin sprouting by Sunday. Each night we light one of the candles and let it burn down during dinner. The large candle is lit and extinguished on Friday. No candle is lit on Saturday. On Good Friday, we may put a small caterpillar in the tomb, wrapped in silk. On Sunday morning our (hopefully) green garden will also have a budding branch instead of a bare one (thanks to my switching it out overnight) and an empty tomb and butterfly. There are tons of things you can do to make the garden slowly come more alive over the days of Easter leading up to Ascension and Pentecost. Thanks, Rebecca, for the great craft!

Also, we are continuing to use the stations of the cross book with the boys during prayer time, and beginning tomorrow, I will read them the stories of Passion week from this excellent children's Bible storybook.

Both of our boys will sit with us during the Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services. And we will spend a quiet day on Friday. Saturday will be a day of preparation. Easter egg dying, making out Grandmother B's yeast rolls for dinner on Sunday, and preparing a little something special for breakfast are all in the works. I may even try to get to the Farmer's Market and hunt some asparagus, though I will have to get there first thing to get anything good!

On Sunday, in addition to the changes in our little garden, I will have the table set with lots of candles, including our white "Jesus" candle from our Advent wreath, which we will use for devotions all during the Easter season. The boys will each get a little bit of candy on their breakfast plate. After church, we are eating Easter dinner at the in-laws with friends from church. An egg hunt, feeding baby goats, and playing with puppies. Sounds like a good celebration of new life to me! And no bunnies to be found!

7 Quick Takes-Just Around the Corner

"You found it!" cried Toad. "Yes," said Frog, "I was very happy. I had found the corner that spring was just around." "Look, Frog," said Toad. "You were right. The rain has stopped." Frog and Toad hurried outside. They ran around the corner of Frog's house to make sure that spring had come again. -from Frog and Toad All Year

1. I was out of town this past weekend visiting a dear friend in Illinois. Calvin and Hobbes stayed home with their daddy, so it was just me and the baby. The time to just be with another mom, sitting in her house and chatting (and enjoying her amazing cooking), was precious and refreshing. It is so good to live life closely with another woman for awhile and to gain perspective on parenting. We are all different creatures, and different mothers, and none of us is perfect. And that is okay. This was just the break the boys and I needed. Time for a fresh start.

2. When I got back, feeling reinvigorated, I found that North Carolina had also found some new life. Despite the snow last week, Spring was indeed just around the corner. The forsythia are blooming, crocuses and daffodils are everywhere, and trees are starting to show their color. Spring is my favorite season around here, even if I spend most of it stuffed up and sneezing!

3. It's seems the Spring weather (and reading Wendell Berry) has reinvigorated my husband, too. He has spent that past few evenings getting our small garden beds ready. They were sorely neglected last year when I was in the midst of morning sickness, but hopefully we can actually grow some things this year. The boys and I bought some seeds, and we are going to get our Spring crop into the ground. Nothing like a little dirt under the nails to make one feel alive!

4. The baby is coming to life, too, and has suddenly found his own voice. And, oh, is he ever charming! He has the most amazing dimpled smile and will talk to us for a long time if we give him some attention. He REALLY likes to talk, which might be a problem later, but for now it is adorable.

5. Things are growing all around me, babies and plants and boys. Hobbes turns three next week, and I can hardly believe it! I wonder where this third year went and when he turned into such a handsome looking guy. He is definitely not a baby anymore...or even a toddler...how did he become a preschooler so quickly! But the point of this is not how Hobbes is growing. The point is to mention that he wants a space shuttle cake for his birthday. Here we go again!

6. With all of this Springy-ness and growing around me, it is hard to focus on Lent. What little I am meditating on the season has been good, though. I think, above all, that I am coming to a place of accepting my life as it is and learning the importance of being faithful in the daily tasks that God has given me to do. I have spent so much time waiting for things to change, for life to get easier, for me to just get this thing or that thing under control. I am learning that we never reach that point and that we are just called to serve and love where we are, as we are, by His grace.

7. To go along with the work of Lent and preparing for Spring, my husband and I have picked up yet another Wendell Berry book. This time it is his essay on science and the arts, progress, and the general trend of our culture away from rootedness in a spot of earth. If you haven't read Life is a Miracle, I highly recommend it. I can't do it justice in a review. Really, all I can say is "Amen!" I have never been able to articulate it, but growing up in a small, rural town, I know what he says to be true with every ounce of my being. Amen and amen!

For more "7 Quick Takes" visit Jen at Conversion Diary.

Shrove Tuesday: Gooey Pizza

For more specifics on what we are doing with our boys to learn about Lent, read this post.

In case you missed it, Lent starts tomorrow. Last year, I wrote about how we were giving up eating out for Lent. This year, I have been a little foggy-headed and am entering the season feeling unprepared. But we did discuss it last night at dinner, and decided on some things to fast from during the season. It seems that my husband and I (and many of our friends) had the same idea for a fast this year. In a culture that increasingly relies on the internet for communication, relationships, and entertainment, we are breaking free, at least for forty days. Obviously, we can't give up e-mail completely. And my husband is a computer programmer and taking grad classes in computer science.

But we are cutting back, way back. In addition to staying off Facebook for Lent, I am limiting myself to thirty minutes of computer time a day. (The only exception to this will be when I need to do work for church and when I am filing my taxes...Do you think the Federal government would take "I'm fasting from my computer for Lent" as an excuse for late taxes?) I am also putting my computer, which currently floats around the living room, back in our office so that I have to go in there to use it. No more sitting behind a screen and ignoring my kids. Oh yeah, and I won't be on it except when the kids are asleep or having quiet time.

Why am I doing this? Pretty simple. I took a good look at my life and the things that were keeping me from parenting well and deepening my relationships with God and others, and the computer was at the top of that list. Who knows? It may even stick, though I may make an exception for blogging.

After my husband and I had finished discussing our computer fast, we asked Calvin if he remembered Lent last year. Once he understood the basic idea, we asked what he thought he could fast from. His first suggestion was playing with Hobbes' toys. We gently suggested that may be pretty hard, since Hobbes would be playing with them and they often like to share or fight over them. Then he piped up again:

"I know! I know what would be a good thing to give up! World of Goo!"

World of Goo, for those who don't know, is a computer game. My boys both love to play it with their Daddy, and it is a special reward for really good days as well as a fun weekend bonding time. Since we are limiting our computer use for Lent, this seemed like the perfect idea. Hobbes is going along for the ride, mostly because his older brother suggested it, and he still isn't clear on the whole Lent thing.

So, in the true spirit of Shrove Tuesday (or perhaps in the indulgent, non-spiritual spirit of Mardi Gras), we are feasting today. I am writing a blog post, sending all those belated e-mails, cleaning out my inbox, and planning to do some good catch-up on blog reading and writing tonight. And the boys and their daddy have a World of Goo date set up for after dinner.

"Um"...you are saying to yourself..."Where does the pizza come in? Is this post mistitled?" Nope. Baby Boy, pseudonym coming soon, has reflux, and in a effort to see what is causing it, I have been cutting dairy out of my diet. In a true spirit of solidarity and love for his wife, my husband (who loves all things dairy more than most people outside of Wisconsin) is giving up dairy for Lent. So tonight, instead of the traditional pancake dinner, we are starting a TwoSquare family tradition: homemade pizza, with extra cheese, and brownies and ice cream for dessert...with maybe a milkshake on the side. Laissez les bons temps roulez!

Initiation

I think I was in second or third grade when my dad announced he would be taking me and my brother to a concert. No, it wasn't a symphony concert or a children's concert or anything wholesome like that. My dad was serious. He was taking us to see John Cougar Mellencamp. On a school night! It was our initiation into the world of rock 'n' roll.

And what an initiation it was. I put on my favorite outfit and got ready to go. It was something totally inappropriate for a rock concert, I am sure, but my parents didn't let me wear black leather in elementary school. We parked and walked into our local concert venue, a huge place with stadium seating. It was dark and smoky, our seats were right under the speakers, and though it was way too loud for my little girl ears, I had a blast. Dad, my brother and I were singing along with the songs. Somewhere in my elementary-aged brain I thought I was as cool as all those older people there, and I couldn't wait to rub it in to my classmates that I had stayed out way past my bedtime at a concert. The only puzzling thing about the whole night was my mom's reaction when we got home. She sent us straight to the bathtub and scrubbed us down hard. Turns out I didn't know the smell of marijuana yet, but my mom sure did. She had lived through the 60's, after all.

In the years to come, my dad would take me to many more concerts. As I grew older, I worried less about looking cool and more about enjoying good music, even if my friends thought it was weird music. Most of the concerts weren't big rock concerts at huge venues. Usually, we opted for quieter, more interesting artists in small places, like the Down Home. Many of my favorite memories involve listening to artists like Gillian Welch, Iris Dement, Lyle Lovett, and Townes Van Zandt with my dad. His willingness to take me to hear live music from an early age definitely influenced my love of good folk, rock, and bluegrass.

It made sense, then, that I would do the same with my children. I still regret the fact that I didn't take Calvin to hear Doc Watson when he was just four months old. But he has seen him since. Hobbes was initiated at seven months, when we took him and then 2-year-old Calvin to their first concert. Who better than Earl Scruggs and friends to initiate my boys into the world of music? My boys hear more bluegrass, folk, and good rock at home than children's music. They love the Beatles and Doc Watson, the Wailin' Jennys and Eddie From Ohio. Although, just like me as a child, they insist that Bob Dylan can't sing at all. In time, dear ones, in time.

And so it is at our house. That's why I bought tickets this week to go hear the Cowboy Junkies with my sister-in-law. I never miss a chance to see them live. My husband is not a fan, so he will stay home and have some bonding time with the two older boys. Me? I'll be taking our newest music enthusiast in a sling and heading out to a small theater in my minivan, no more cool than I was in elementary school. But I don't care. Little dude will be six weeks old. Time to start the initiation.

Preparing the Way

I didn't intend for this Advent season to be one of silence on my blog, but I just haven't felt like writing. We have been so busy around here, in a good way, preparing for Christmas and for the new baby. Whenever I have had time to write, I have chosen something else instead...reading to myself or my boys or taking a nap. But I have been thinking. Here are some of my scattered thoughts.

Deliverance
Being this close to delivering a baby at Christmas brings an entirely new perspective to Advent. The hymns and scriptures we are using at church often have multiple meanings for me now as I sit uncomfortably in a folding chair feeling a baby push into my ribcage and wanting oh-so-badly for him to come already! In some strange way, it heightens my awareness of what it means to wait in the brokenness of this world for God's Kingdom to be fully ushered in, for all pain and tears and misery and weariness to end. As I say, "Come, quickly, Jesus!" my body is saying, "Come, quickly, baby!"

Mary
I have been thinking about Mary and how tiresome and difficult that journey to Bethlehem must have been. I can barely handle riding in a car on paved roads these days, and she was on a donkey on rough terrain.

3 A voice cries:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
4 Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
5 And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

Maybe when God issued this prophecy He was also making a literal command: "Someone get those roads smooth for that poor pregnant woman carrying the Messiah!" These are the crazy thoughts that go through my head at church.

Prepare Ye The Way
As I fold baby clothes and wash diapers and clean the house, I occasionally have the presence of mind to also prepare my heart for the coming of Jesus and for the celebration of His birth. I am not super-spiritual, and part of me wishes I had seized this chance for meditation and spiritual preparation more fully. Still, I am busy in the daily and seasonal tasks of cleaning and decorating and nurturing and resting. I suppose most woman throughout history didn't have time to meditate on the spiritual significance of these things, either. They were too busy just doing them.

Even so, the slow ordering of our home, the daily rhythms of our Advent traditions, and the gradual emergence of Christmas decor are preparing our home and our family for His coming. In the same way, whether I meditate on it or not, my body is doing the work of making a baby. With every stray contraction and sore muscle, my body is preparing the way for his coming, hopefully soon.

Now, if only we could decide on a name...

Waiting and Preparing

Five weeks to go. Is that really all? I feel completely unprepared to welcome this little one into the world. We haven't even decided on a name! The baby clothes are still packed in the attic, along with the infant carseat. The crib, though set up in our room, is full of other projects that I have going on, evidence of my very feeble attempts at nesting. Thanks to my dear friends at church, I do have some of the essential baby supplies. If worse comes to worse, we have one new outfit that isn't packed in the attic and a few disposable diapers on hand.

Even more than that, I wonder if our family is ready to welcome this new baby boy. Calvin and Hobbes are certainly eager, asking nearly every day how long it will be until the baby comes out. But my husband and I are so busy and tired these days, him with classes and a huge deadline at work, me with church and the boring details of life that have to be taken care of...not to mention running around after two very energetic boys. On top of all of that, we have spent the past week being sick ourselves or staying up with sick boys. The weariness of life is weighing heavily on me.

In the midst of this exhaustion, I find myself more grateful than ever for the rhythm of the church calendar. While I enjoy the routine and work and growth of ordinary time, the coming of Advent offers a welcome reprieve, a time to slowly and intentionally prepare for the celebration to come. I am so thankful for the traditions that we established last year and for the experience that we had as we observed Advent as a family.

We will continue those traditions this year...


a lunchtime reading of scripture and placing of the Jesse Tree ornament as we follow God's own story of preparing for His child...

slowly enjoying our Christmas picture books and adding some new ones...

a Saint Nicholas Day celebration with gingerbread cookies, this year with some friends joining us for a little party...

evening prayer with the Advent wreath and the Story of His birth slowly unfolding...

gradually bringing out the decorations and assembling the nativities...

and decorating the tree on Christmas Eve...

As we observe these traditions, slowly preparing for His birth, making gifts and doing a bit each day in order to be ready for the celebration, I will be doing my own preparing. A bit each day. I'll pull down the tiny clothes, wash and fold. I'll pack a bag and make notes about whom to call when. I'll clean out the crib and finish the nesting and organizing. Just a little each day while beginning to imagine life with this new babe. I'll wait and prepare until my home and my heart are ready for that magical moment when a slippery, screaming new baby is placed in my arms and my heart grows even bigger to hold the love I didn't know I had.

And I pray that all of our hearts will find ways this season to prepare, a little bit each day, for the coming of the Babe whose life, death, and resurrection make all things new.

For more reflections on celebrating Advent, visit the Carnival of Anglican Advent Traditions at Kerry's blog. Posts will be up on Friday.

Happy Independence Day!

I know patriotism isn't popular these days, but since it is July 4th, I just wanted to let you know that I am thankful to be from the United States. I have traveled enough in various countries to know that we are immensely blessed in our country. We are blessed with abundance and freedom and peace and an overall charitable spirit among our people.

Of course we abuse these things and of course we are not perfect; no nation is. But I am very thankful to live in a place where we have the freedom to worship as we choose, where my children have access to free education all the way through high school (and where I can choose not to send them to state schools if I don't want to), where we have access to food and clean water at relatively good prices. I am even thankful that we live where we can choose to live selfishly, because a compulsive generosity is really not generous at all. I pray that we choose to live generously and wisely with what we have been given, and I ask for wisdom to see where our family does not.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone! May you find a little bit of joy in being an American today, knowing that even our ability to criticize our country is a freedom not many around the world enjoy.

These Ain't Your Grandma's Blueberries

But they are my grandma's blueberries. Aren't they lovely?

We have had a busy few days around here. On Thursday, the boys and I drove the four-hours one way tip to Tennessee just to pick some of these fantastic berries. Of course, we did manage to stay two days to enjoy family and to breathe some of mountain air, which is significantly less oppressive than the air around here, even if it isn't that much cooler.

I'm not sure how long Grandma has had her blueberry bushes, but they are huge. She gets around 20 gallons each summer, and all of her friends and relatives who want to can take a turn picking. We got there just in time to glean some of the last fruits. In fact, my wonderful Grandma had saved two bushes just for us. Calvin had a blast picking...or eating...the berries with Grandma. Hobbes was more interested in pouring them from one bucket to another, dumping them on the ground, and generally undoing our work. He eventually decided it was more fun to play hide-and-seek in the bushes while we picked.

So now I am home with a gallon of berries, some of which I will freeze for use in oatmeal and pancakes and muffins throughout the year. Many of them we will eat in handfuls of juicy, sweet goodness. The rest will go into Grandma's blueberry batter pie and a batch of these. I am still searching for the perfect blueberry muffin recipe, so if you have a good one, send it my way. For that matter, send me any good blueberry recipes you have. I'd love to know what other people do with them!

Grandma's Blueberry Batter Pie

Melt one stick butter in the bottom of a 3 quart baking dish.

Mix 1 cup flour, 1 cup milk, 1 cup sugar, 2 tsp. baking powder, and a dash of salt. Set aside.

Combine 1 quart blueberries, 1 cup sugar, and a little water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil on stovetop and remove from heat.

Pour batter over melted butter in baking dish. Spoon blueberry mixture evenly over batter and pour remaining juice on top. Bake at 350 for 3o minutes or until batter rises to top and begins to brown.

Best served warm with some vanilla ice cream.

Let Freedom Ring

I am getting nothing done on time these days, nor am I finding time to write at all. I suppose it is only fitting that my reflections on Memorial Day are a bit late.

I am no sentimental patriot. If you know me, you will know that I love other cultures and that my experiences abroad have given me a critical eye when looking at my own country. But regardless of what you or I think about war or peace or the current engagements of our military, I hope we can all agree that Memorial Day is a good thing. It is good to remember those who have died to secure our freedom, though we so often abuse it. It is good to teach our children that they have been given a gift that was hard won. It is good to be with family and friends and enjoy the freedoms that we have.

So this past Monday, that is what we did. At the end of a beautiful weekend in my East Tennessee mountains, I joined my grandma, great aunts and uncle, my father's brothers, and my own brother and sister-in-law and adorable niece for a picnic like only my dad's clan can put on. I had called Grandma on my way to Tennessee to suggest that we get together for Memorial Day. The plans started as a light picnic lunch at her house with the kids running around in the yard, but they morphed into the best picnic ever.

First the picnic spot was changed. Why picnic in the yard when we could go to a recreation area in the woods with a creek? Then the menu evolved. Why have a light lunch or pick up subs when Grandma and Aunt Mary could cook up a storm the day before? And finally the guest list. Why only have a few people when we could invite whoever in the family was free that day?

And there we were, enjoying the freedom to disagree about politics, meander around a national forest picnic area, and say a prayer of thanksgiving over our meal. Remembering my grandpa and other relatives who served this country through our laughter and conversation. Eating hot dogs with Grandma's world-famous chili, potato salad and baked beans to die for, and, of course, Grandma's chocolate cake. Washing it all down with a glass of sweet tea that we don't have to pay the British taxes to drink. In general, being good old Americans.

That's when my boys decided to fully embrace the atmosphere of freedom and celebration. They had been playing by the ice-cold creek, throwing in rocks and sticks and running into the water long enough to get scared by the cold. Suddenly, Calvin came running down the path toward me, shirt off and pants and underwear halfway down his knees:

"Mommy, Mommy! Uncle M said I could go nudey in the creek!" (For the record, Uncle M only said he could take off his shorts.)

Fine. I'm a barefoot mountain girl, so I have no problem with my son playing naked in the mountain creek. A few minutes later I looked over to see Hobbes stripping off his shirt and diaper to join his brother. Two boys, completely free, splashing in an ice cold mountain creek. Let freedom ring.

Now if only Hobbes would learn that there are some rules to follow, like how far away from the water we need to be before squatting down to be totally free...

Lenten Update (Up Next: 100th Post and the Best Book Giveaway Ever!)

Things have been kind of quiet around here lately as I have been making room for reflection and prayer during this time of Lent. But I did want to give you an update on how our family is doing Lent this year. My original post on Lent is here.

Fasting
Not eating out has proven to be a great fast for Calvin. As with our Advent traditions, this has helped him to anticipate the glorious feast day. Every time we drive by a Chick-fil-A, he notes that we will get to eat there again on Easter. (No, we aren't having fast food for Easter dinner!) He asks pretty regularly if it is Easter yet, and he is handling the waiting really well.

Going into this fast, I wasn't even sure why we had chosen eating out, other than that we spend too much money eating out and rely on it for convenience. Going with out take-out or a dinner out on a difficult day has helped me to order my day in so many other ways. I am learning again how to plan better, to find balance and let things go that aren't priorities. In the process, I am somehow managing to get more done while spending more quality time with my boys...some days. Other days, I see how much I need to work on discipline in order to focus on my priorities.


Spiritual Development
We are doing a couple of things with the boys that seem to be working well. Hobbes is still a little too small to get it, but Calvin is really picking up on what it means to work on our weaknesses. He helped me create a chart at the beginning of Lent that lists some of the good behaviors he needs to work on, such as doing his chores when asked and getting ready for school without whining. He gets a sticker every time he does one of these "good things." I honestly can't believe how well it is going. I can see him becoming aware of these behaviors and really trying to practice them and becoming less whiny in general, even without the promise of a sticker. I have told Calvin that I am also working on practicing some good behaviors, like patience and gratitude, to prepare my heart for Easter.

In addition to the chart, we have also altered our prayer time during Lent. We are using an icon of the crucifixion and some dark blue candles to set out during prayer. (We will pull out the resurrection icon again at Easter.) We have added a time of confession to the beginning of our prayer time, and Calvin asks every evening to pray on his own for God to forgive him for the bad things he does. He has never prayed on his own before! Not to be left out, Hobbes mutters his own version of prayers while my husband is praying, always ending in a clear "Amen." We are also teaching the boys a few Lenten songs. Both boys love singing "Create in Me a Clean Heart."

Teaching the Story
We are using this excellent booklet, which has a symbol and a part of the passion story for each week of Lent. I am also doing a craft each week to go along with the symbol. Calvin really got into the story being acted out on Holy Week last year, and this is another way to familiarize him with it in preparation for those services.

I have also picked up a few Easter books on different reading levels for the boys. I especially like this one, which is full of symbolism for Ash Wednesday and other holy days of Lent. In addition to specifically Easter books, we are reading a lot of books about new life (eggs to birds, caterpillars to butterflies, and one of my all-time favorites, Make Way for Ducklings.) I'd love some other suggestions for Easter books!

Acts of Service
While this is an important part of Lent, we are not focusing specifically on it this year. We have added enough new aspects to the observance of this season. Since we regularly give things away to charity, take meals to friends in need, and make cards and artwork for others, the boys already have experience in this. I will probably add something extra next year, but in the meantime, I hope they are growing up in an atmosphere of generosity, hospitality, and service.

I had worried how well we could bring the boys along on our Lenten observance. (Advent is so much easier and more fun.) But it has been good so far. Maybe I will let you know how it ends at Easter.

Check back for my next post. Number 100! It will be the best book giveaway ever!!!!!