Grandma's Wisdom

Today, a short post, perhaps the wisest saying I've ever heard attributed to my Grandma:

"Women are mean, and men are stupid."

Knowing that could solve a lot of the world's relationship problems.

These Aren't Your Grandma's Blueberries (reposted)

I was hoping to do a series of posts about my Grandma this week. I may or may not get many done. But here is one from a couple of years ago. My Grandma's house has the most amazingly prolific blueberry bushes in the backyard. This includes one of my favorite of her many delicious recipes, her blueberry batter pie.

But they are my grandma's blueberries. Aren't they lovely?

We have had a busy few days around here. On Thursday, the boys and I drove the four-hours one way trip to Tennessee just to pick some of these fantastic berries. Of course, we did manage to stay two days to enjoy family and to breathe some of the mountain air, which is significantly less oppressive than the air around here, even if it isn't that much cooler.

I'm not sure how long Grandma has had her blueberry bushes, but they are huge. She gets around 20 gallons each summer, and all of her friends and relatives who want to can take a turn picking. We got there just in time to glean some of the last fruits. In fact, my wonderful Grandma had saved two bushes just for us. Calvin had a blast picking...or eating...the berries with Grandma. Hobbes was more interested in pouring them from one bucket to another, dumping them on the ground, and generally undoing our work. He eventually decided it was more fun to play hide-and-seek in the bushes while we picked.

So now I am home with a gallon of berries, some of which I will freeze for use in oatmeal and pancakes and muffins throughout the year. Many of them we will eat in handfuls of juicy, sweet goodness. The rest will go into Grandma's blueberry batter pie and a batch of these. I am still searching for the perfect blueberry muffin recipe, so if you have a good one, send it my way. For that matter, send me any good blueberry recipes you have. I'd love to know what other people do with them!

Grandma's Blueberry Batter Pie

Melt one stick butter in the bottom of a 3 quart baking dish.

Mix 1 cup flour, 1 cup milk, 1 cup sugar, 2 tsp. baking powder, and a dash of salt. Set aside.

Combine 1 quart blueberries, 1 cup sugar, and a little water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil on stovetop and remove from heat.

Pour batter over melted butter in baking dish. Spoon blueberry mixture evenly over batter and pour remaining juice on top. Bake at 350 for 3o minutes or until batter rises to top and begins to brown.

Best served warm with some vanilla ice cream.

Eulogy for My Grandma

Today was the worship service celebrating my Grandma's life. All of the grandkids were asked to say something about what we learned from her. This is what I wrote and read.

When (my uncle) asked me to write something about what I learned from Grandma or what she meant to me, I wondered what to write. Should I tell about how she taught me to make her famous chocolate cake, measuring the cocoa so that it was heaped just the right amount in the tablespoon? Or about how I used to love spending the night with her as a kid because we got to have all the candy we wanted, stay up late, and eat chicken noodle soup for lunch? Should I tell about my memories of eating freshly picked blueberries off the bushes in her backyard until my stomach hurt? Or of sitting in her living room stringing beans with her and most of the family helping? Maybe I should tell how her involvement in missions, though she never moved away from these mountains, was one of the influences that led me to follow God’s call to China. Whether big or small, all of these are pieces of her story that have helped to write mine, and I am so very grateful for them. But they are not want I really want to tell.

When I was pregnant with my third child, I wanted more than I even realized to have a girl, and when we found out we were having yet another boy, I was a bit disappointed. How does anyone raise three boys? Then I remembered (I don’t know how I had forgotten) that Grandma did it. Grandma, who had wanted so much to have just one girl and was thrilled when I was finally born into the family, raised three boys and raised them well.

When I asked her how she did it, how she managed to raise three boys who turned out so well and even liked each other, she said, “Well, I guess I just did it.” In this age, when motherhood is such a complicated business, and everyone is telling you the perfect method for childrearing and insisting that you buy their book or take their class or follow their method, my Grandma’s wisdom is the only advice that has really stuck with me. She just did it. She got up every morning and made the meals and mended the clothes and disciplined when needed and didn’t worry too much about self-esteem or cognitive development or anything else. In fact, the only thing she ever told me that she was sure to teach her boys was that church was not optional.

I know that Grandma was able to do what she did because she loved Jesus, and she showed her love for Him and for the people around her by meeting practical needs. Even her most treasured gifts to us were made for the most practical of reasons, to keep us warm. Those beautiful quilts she made for all of her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren are pieces of art, but they are not meant to hang on walls. When I tuck my three boys under them at night and crawl under one myself, I remember Grandma’s love for us and her acts of service that allowed her to do more for the Kingdom of God than she might have expected. I am reminded just to finish the next task that God places before me, to care for those He has put around me, to keep our family close and Jesus at the center. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to look back and see three godly sons, loving daughters-in-law, and grandchildren and great-grandchildren who love Jesus and their families. Because in all of those years of just doing the next practical thing, those are the works of art Grandma created, more beautiful than any quilt.

Grandma

My dear, wonderful Grandma passed away this morning. We were praying for God to take her, as she was in much pain and ready to go. Now she is well and whole and with Jesus and all of our family that has gone before, including my daddy. She will be missed.

The R2D2 Cake

I'm no cake decorator, but this one turned out okay. I used a couple of ideas from other folks on the web. It was much easier than the space shuttles I made for Calvin's 4th and Hobbes' 3rd. Hobbes liked it, anyway...almost as much as the big bag of candy he got from Grandpa. We had a lovely birthday party for Hobbes and Auntie M today. The weather was warm and sunny and perfect for a picnic by the waterfall at the farm. Couldn't have been better.

Seven Quick Takes-Movies and Discipline Edition

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen.

And let me know what you think of my new, simple and free from Blogger, design. Anything you want to see here that you don't?

1. Thanks to Wolf Totem, I am totally fascinated by Mongolia now. My husband and I just watched Mongol and were thoroughly impressed. It is an incredibly violent movie, but I was still engrossed in the story. It is the first of a trilogy of movies based on the life of Ghengis Khan. There are a lot of liberties taken with the history, but after having read Wolf Totem, which gives a very detailed account of Mongolian culture and life on the grasslands, I loved seeing a movie that had Mongolia as its setting. I can't wait for the next two films!

2. These days have been really, really hard with Calvin. Does anyone have any experience with taking children to a psychiatrist? We may not need to, but he definitely has frequent episodes where he is completely out of control of his body and emotions, and nothing we try seems to help. Other times, he is incredibly funny, sweet, creative, and in control of himself. But when these episodes occur, he is like a different child. It is unbelievably exhausting and scary for all of us. Anyone who has experience with this sort of behavior, please feel free to offer advice.

3. Linus is suddenly becoming a much less pleasant baby. Oh, that strong will. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a compliant child. I know that no children are totally compliant, but some are less intense than others. Despite his normally pleasant demeanor, Linus is showing us that we may be three for three in the strong personalities department. Lord, have mercy.

4. Despite this, things are actually going okay around here. I am trying to intentionally slow down and enjoy the good moments with my kids, even if it is just a minute where Linus is laughing at Calvin being goofy. Even if that minute is surrounded by two forty-five minute battles with Calvin and with Hobbes refusing to take rest time. I am trying to not make life always be a battle between me and these boys, trying to convince all of us that we are on the same team.

5. Having my husband working at home during this season is incredible! He can handle Calvin when he is too out of control and strong for me to contain. And he can step in when I need a break or have a crying baby and pouting Hobbes and angry Calvin. God always knows what he is doing when he moves us from one job to another.

6. It's almost Chinese New Year! What are you doing to celebrate? We are sending out our first prayer letter and doing some more purging and cleaning and generally preparation for one day leaving the country. One day before the next New Year comes around, we hope.

7. Tonight, I am escaping from this craziness and watching Julie and Julia. I love Meryl Streep, and I have loved Amy Adams since I saw her in Junebug (which is her best movie, by the way, and one you should definitely see). I may or may not let you know what I think of it.

Ramblin' (wo)Man

I feel the need to write, but I have no coherent thoughts. Ever feel that way? My mind is swirling.

I am thinking about health care and these two posts and what it all means and if our country is going to make a big mistake and how much it really matters, anyway.

I am thinking about the mountains that I just left behind yesterday, about how beautiful they were and how much I enjoyed the hike with my husband and Calvin and Linus. Calvin ran most of the mile downhill to the waterfall and most of the mile back up, occasionally asking for a ride on his daddy's shoulders because "I think I am going to fall down on the job. I don't know what that means, but I keep saying it."

I am thinking about sweet Hobbes and how he is learning to claim the alone time he needs with people. Yesterday it was with his Nana at a park in "Mitford" while we hiked. Saturday it was alone with Uncle M's old Star Wars toys, making up stories and using voices. "Darth Vader do you want to go get the good guys? Yes, let's blow them up, but first we have to load our ship. Okay, that sounds like an exciting idea...."

I am thinking about my daddy, who died three years ago and whom we remembered this weekend by repeating a Labor Day family tradition of spending the night here and enjoying the Parkway.

I am thinking about how Linus woke up ready to move, unwilling even to sit in his high chair to eat breakfast, trying so hard to crawl and getting so angry that he couldn't do it instantly. He will be crawling soon, and the house is not ready for that!

I am thinking about Fall, probably our last in the States for awhile, and how much I love this season.

I am thinking.

7 Quick Takes-On The Road Again...And Again...And Again...

Once upon a time, there was a woman named TwoSquare who had a blog, but she got a serious case of summer and was never heard from again.

It feels like I have been away from this space forever, and I won't be back anytime soon. It is mostly for good reasons.

1. I say mostly because my husband has been working crazy hours and his software job, and I have had a lot of LONG days alone with the boys. We are tired and crabby. All of us. Except Linus, who is perfect, as always. (And who ate a huge jar of baby mac & cheese, two egg yolks, and half a slice of cantaloupe for lunch. He only weighs 15 pounds at 7 months. Where does he put it?)

2. So we have been spending a lot of time at the pool. Yes, I have lived there this summer, and it is starting to show. The boys are tan, and Calvin is swimming on his own. Once he learned, there was no stopping him. Wednesday, we were there with a friend, and he was jumping in and swimming to her while I had the two other boys in the baby pool. At some point, I turned around to see him diving into the water! She had not told him to do that, and she was just as surprised as I was to see him try. Apparently, he just decided it was time.

3. Speaking of Calvin, he will be FIVE in a week and couple of days. FIVE! How did that happen? In honor of his birthday (or maybe just because we all need it and it was planned months ago), we are going to the beach for a week with my family. I can't wait! After that, the boys head home with their Nana for a few days, and I get some time with just the baby, hopefully to get some projects done around the house in time for the Fall.

4. Not that we are sitting still until school starts. After the beach, we have a crazy long weekend trip to the midwest for the hubby's Grandma's 90th birthday and a big family reunion.

5. And somewhere in between there and school starting, we need to get back to the homeplace and visit my Grandma, who decided to get chemo and is doing pretty well, though her prognosis is still only for a year at most.

6. Oh, and then there is the little matter of getting ready to move to Asia. When that is going to happen, I am not sure. But our dear friend who has been there for two years was home on a visit and with us a couple of days this week. She said the phrase "put on my face" (in reference to her make-up), and Hobbes thought it was great. I heard him in bed last night saying, "Calvin, I need to put on my face. I'm putting on my face. Look at me put on my face." Funny. Since I haven't purchased makeup since my wedding seven years ago, he would have never heard that from me!

7. With all of this moving around, we need a little time sitting still to read. I am re-reading The Brothers Karamozov in the best translation, and I am taking The Last Chinese Chef to the beach, along with a stack of books I may or may not get to. And the boys and I are really loving Tomie DePaola lately, especially the Strega Nona books.

What about you? Where have you been traveling and what's on your summer reading list? Visit Jen for more Quick Takes.

The Men in My Life

There are so many moments I want to remember from this weekend.

Hobbes saying "I hope you have a good time!" as we walked out the door to a lovely dinner date at a local French restaurant.

Sitting for a couple of hours with my dear husband as we enjoyed fine food, good wine, and an evening without spilled milk or messy baby food. Walking around downtown and holding hands when the dinner was done.

Taking in all of the sights and sounds of the farmer's market with Calvin and Hobbes. Calvin choosing the sugar baby watermelon to buy and Hobbes carrying a big bunch of zinnias in front of his face as we walked through the market. Getting samples of farmer's cheese from our favorite cheese vendor.

Watching the boys shuck corn from the market and then get distracted by the caterpillars who were sharing our bounty. Hobbes running in to tell me to come and see what Calvin had done. "He put the caterpillar in the tree, Mommy! Now the caterpillar can have a happy life and become a beautiful butterfly!" Calvin's (very grown up) face of joy as he watched the caterpillar climb up a limb of the tree, looking for food.

Husband working on a digital painting on the computer while Calvin had a drawing lesson from him, working on copying a man in armor from a book on the middle ages. Hobbes very happily finger painting while I cooked up some baby food delicacies for Linus. All of us creating in our own way.

Linus relishing the chicken, broccoli, squash concoction I had just cooked up for him, crying the instant his mouth was empty.

Linus again, squealing and smiling and kicking and laughing, enjoying every moment of an afternoon home alone with Mommy and Daddy while his brothers were off at Gram's farm. Those big, blue, beautiful eyes adoring us as we adore him.

There were plenty of difficult and ugly moments, too, I suppose. But I am choosing to remember these. These moments where we were thoroughly enjoying one another as a family. These moments when I was able to stop and look and give thanks for these good gifts, these four men in my life.

After these messages...

we'll be right back.

Lots of traveling around these parts lately. We just returned from a week in Colorado doing some training for our sending agency in preparation for Asia. Lots to write about and process.

But the boys and I are off in an hour or so to see my family in the mountains and visit my Grandma and pick blueberries. I may be off yet again next week, but that is yet to be determined. So it could be quiet around here for a while. In the meantime, a Calvin story:

We have recently made a summer schedule and posted it in our kitchen. The boys helped me to make the schedule and cut out pictures to glue on it. The biggest change is that we made getting dressed and putting pajamas away the first thing of the day, before breakfast and playtime. When I went to wake Calvin up yesterday morning, he was naked in his bed, pajamas in a pile at the end of the top bunk. When I asked him why he had slept without his pajamas, his answer was simply, "That way I can hurry and get dressed and have more time to do things." This boy is very busy doing things lately. He wakes up with a head full of exciting plans and the energy to carry them out, all day. Thank God for the pool! We'd go crazy in the heat if we were stuck in this little house.

Five Months

Dear Baby Linus,

You must be my third child. You see, I have these lovely little blank books that I use to record letters to you and your brothers. I have been writing in yours every month since you were born, but when I went to find it for your five month entry, I couldn't. I found your brothers' books just fine, but yours is missing. I'm sure it will turn up eventually, just like I eventually remember to feed you and to change your diaper and to read to you, after Calvin and Hobbes give me a few minutes of peace.

But you are so very forgiving and loving despite my neglect, my beautiful, smiling boy. We all adore you, and you adore us. You squeal and shake and kick with delight whenever anyone is playing with you, especially your brothers. You are really starting to participate in life, rolling over, grabbing toys (or hair or brothers' noses), and trying so very hard to be strong enough to sit up. You would be walking and eating real food if you could; you are so eager to be like your brothers.

Our greatest source of amusement from you is watching you around food. I started feeding you rice cereal and some baby food at four months, much earlier than with your brothers, and you were very ready for it. You squealed and shook with delight at every bite, and you have not looked back. We have given you apples and pears and bananas, and today you tried sweet potatoes for the first time. You love it all, if I mix it with rice cereal to give it some substance.

I don't think you will eat baby food for long. If you had the ability to chew and swallow, you would go straight for the real stuff. You try at every opportunity. Yesterday I was eating a strawberry muffin while holding you. Your eyes got big and followed the muffin's every move. With mouth wide open, you took your hands and slowly tried to bring them together around the muffin. If I had let you grab it, I am certain it would have been in your mouth. You love food, no doubt about it. No one can eat without your eyes on them. It's hilarious!

You also love for people to sing and read to you. When we stop, you make little protest noises asking for more. You especially love "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," and whenever I sing it to you, you squeal for more when I am done. You have started anticipating the end and making your desire for a sequel known before I even finish the song. When we read books to you, you often grab our hands and try to make us turn the page or point to the objects. Sometimes I swear you are reading along. With Calvin as a brother, you might just be. But you do love your books.

You are such a gift to us, little one, the most pleasant and loving baby yet. We all love watching you discover new things. Last night, you were in the tub with your brothers and discovered that you could use your feet to splash water. You were mesmerized, and so were we. You stop us all from taking life so seriously. You make us smile and laugh more than we did before. You shine little one, every moment you are awake. Well, every moment that you are awake and not screaming at me to feed you some real food. That is the only thing you are insistent about, and I am more than happy to oblige.

We have made it five months, Linus. This is the part where it starts to get fun. It's already been so good; we can't wait to see what's coming. We all love you.

-Mommy

I have since found the poor child's blank book and plan to write this letter in there. Hey, it's only a week or more late...

Holding Memories

I sit here rocking you tonight little one, you who so often just want to lie in your crib to fall asleep. Rocking and singing "Jesus Loves Me" as you slowly settle into my chest, I hold you tight. I am pulling you into me, missing the connection of the womb and of those newborn days. Your legs tuck under your body as you fold into me, bringing your contentment and peace to mingle with all of my frustrations and sorrows, some real and some imagined. Life is hard, and my body, which was thrown out of balance to protect and grow you, magnifies the sorrows and difficulties as it finds its way back to normal.

I want this memory to last, your long lashes falling over sleepy blue eyes and your dark, soft hair brushing my cheek. Already, the memories of your older brothers seem lost. I can look at pictures or a video and see what they were, but I can't really remember them, not really. I remember that Calvin used to lie in our bed in the mornings and point to our eyes and noses and ears, saying the word for each one, as he practiced his vocabulary. I remember that he did it, but I don't remember him doing it. I don't remember what he looked like, what pajamas he was wearing, what his voice sounded like.

My mind is so bad at holding memories. I wonder how many beautiful moments are lost because I have not photographed them or written them down in a book or in this journal I call a blog. So often my mind is not fully in the present and the moment is lost. I can't remember your brothers as babies, I wonder what your newborn days were like, and I can't remember you PopPop, my daddy, as clearly as I once could.

This week we got the news that your great-grandmother has cancer. We have had too much of cancer in our family, too much of the ending of memories before they are made. I had hoped to record some of her memories, I still do, to pass them on to your and your brothers and cousins. But what if I fail? I, who cannot even remember you as you were a few months ago, may not be able to preserve the past that wasn't even mine, though I am a product of it.

So I hold you tightly, as I try to hold the sorrows and joys and memories, knowing that I cannot hold them all. I pray that He who has always been present holds them all, as He holds me and you. And one day, when time slows down, I trust that he will take me back to those sweet memories I cannot recall. May I not only remember them, but see them as He has, with His hand on every moment. Until then, may we both find sweet rest.

Crown Him the Son of God, before the worlds began,
And ye who tread where He hath trod, crown Him the Son of Man;
Who every grief hath known that wrings the human breast,
And takes and bears them for His own, that all in Him may rest.

7 Quick Takes-A Day Late

I'm not even linking this to Jen's blog this week, since I am a day late. But here are some random thoughts from TwoSquare land.

1. I am in need of a blog update, a new look, and some added features. My husband is great at this sort of thing, but I don't want to give him more busywork. Anybody have a recommendation for a good person who isn't too expensive?

2. Also on the topic of blogs, I am contemplating a new blog project but not sure if I have the time to take it on. It would involve doing some family interviews and posting stories and pieces of my Appalachian heritage, much like Tipper's site (which I love!). I have been wanting to record some family history, and this seems like a good way to do it. Any suggestions about the privacy/security issue of such an undertaking?

3. We are at the end and the beginning. My husband graduates from grad school tomorrow! After three years of full-time work and almost full-time school, he is done. And I have a husband back...and my sanity!

4. But that means we are diving full steam into support-raising and preparing to go overseas. Never a dull moment around here. Any ideas for beginning to sort out/purge our life in preparation for a move?

5. I just finished Power and the Glory by Graham Greene and participated in a book discussion group with my church. I am once again convinced that I go to church with the coolest, smartest women on the planet. I am also convinced that Catholic writers will always be dark and disturbing. But I LOVED the book.

6. The hubby and I are working our way through some of this year's Oscars flicks. We enjoyed but were underwhelmed by Slumdog Millionaire. It was too much of a conventional idea of what makes people happy, though the portrayals of life in the slums of India were very interested. The Visitor, on the other hand, was one of the most subtly brilliant films I have seen in a while. Definitely worth your time. We have The Wrestler coming next.

7. Finally, if you are wondering the outcome of this episode. I was not like Max's mother, leaving the boys a hot supper for later. They did get a big bowl of oatmeal in the morning, and were much better behaved. I think they learned a bit about the power of their words. And Calvin and I had a good talk about it as he drifted off to sleep that night. The next morning, he was about to say something about how he hated what we were having for lunch. He caught himself and said, "I think sometimes I don't think before I talk." Don't we all?

7 Quick Takes-Slugs, Bugs, In-laws, Bathrooms, and Mountains

You don't have to read all of these, but do go to #7 and help save my mountains!

1. Put this one in the "Clueless About Mothering" category. Apparently, there is this entire world known as children's music that I have never entered. (I guess I listened to it when I was a kid, but my introduction to adult music was more memorable.) Anyway, after an e-mail exchange with some friends about good kids' music, I decided to hit iTunes and buy some. Turns out, there are some really good CD's out there. My boys are loving "Slugs, Bugs, and Lullabies" right now, and so am I. My favorite line so far: "So I listen very carefully because He lives inside of me, which could be gross but it's not 'cause He's Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior!"

If you have any suggestions for children's music that adults can stand, let me know. Don't worry, my boys will still be subjected to plenty of Dylan, the Beatles, and bluegrass!

2. While I was researching the CD mentioned above, I saw that Andrew Peterson has a new CD out. Since I love his lyrics and own all of his other CD's, I went ahead and bought this one. It is proving to be good music for Lent, not because it is gloomy and focuses on sin and repentance, but because it focuses on redemption and grace in a broken world, on the need for resurrection. Great stuff to contemplate as I anticipate celebrating the Resurrection in a month.

3. Lent is going well, not because I am keeping the fast well, though I am trying. Mostly it is going well because I am slowing down enough to contemplate the spiritual significance of the things I do on a daily basis, of my relationships, of my life. I am working on a post about what I am learning. Let's just say I hope to achieve a perspective like this one day.

4. I mentioned in my last post how much I love Auntie M. Really, I love living near family in general. My in-laws are amazing, and my mother-in-law takes the boys one afternoon most weeks while I take a break. They have goats (who just had kids), chickens, ducks, and a German Shepherd with a brand new litter of puppies. My boys came home Wednesday dirty, tired, and happy.

5. And I had a gift of an afternoon free. I spent some good talking, cuddling, loving time with Baby Linus, and then, while he took a THREE HOUR NAP, guess what I did? That's right, I cleaned my bathrooms! And most of the rest of my tiny house. It was so very therapeutic for me. Now you are all welcome to come over and enjoy it while it lasts.

6. What?!? Your house is still clean from Wednesday?!? Yep, that's because the boys and I are in TN visiting my fam while hubby works a super busy few days at work. The drive here was enlightening...and frustrating. How can I not get angry when I see signs from developers ruining these mountains with fancy neighborhoods...signs that proudly proclaim, "We're at it again!" "Come live the mountain life you've dreamed of." "Mountain lifestyles at affordable prices." "Priceless views. Affordable Condos." You get the point! Reading Wendell Berry (no, I may never stop talking about him) has made me even more angry at the way land and place and heritage are thrown around so cheaply to make a buck.

7. While I am on the subject of mountains, there is more than one way to destroy them. Houses are nothing compared to Mountaintop Removal Coal Mining. I'm asking for your help again! Read over here and then contact your senators and representatives about the Appalachian Mountains Preservation Act and the Clean Water Protection Act. Help me save these lovely mountains!

Read more 7 Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

Dear Auntie M, Won't You Come Out To Play?

The sun is up. The sky is blue...

But my bathrooms are still dirty. The good news? The rain we have been having for four days, which probably contributed to my mood yesterday, is finally over. My washing machine isn't broken after all, I can probably fix my car mirror myself, and the boys had fun at the dentist! When we came out of the dentist, I started singing Dear Prudence because the sun was up and the sky was blue for the first time in days. I could have been this happy yesterday, rain or no rain, if I had just stepped back to be grateful for what I have. I have so much to be thankful for, including Auntie M.

Around here, St. Patrick's Day is known as St. M's Day, since it is Auntie M's birthday. Thanks to a Craigslist pick-up near her house, we got to take her out to lunch for her birthday. She really is a saint, for the way she helps with and loves on my boys. As we were walking down the street after lunch, Hobbes sitting on Auntie M's shoulders, he began to sing, "The sun is up. The sky is blue. We go out and play. And Auntie M is here." Close enough. Who needs Prudence?

Happy Birthday, Auntie M!

7 Quick Takes

1. I think I may have found a solution to our schooling problem for next year. We'll call it "Auntie M School." My sister-in-law is presenting her Master's Thesis in the summer and will be taking the year off to apply for PhD's and be near us for one more year. The kids love her. I mean L-O-V-E her, and she is a great private tutor. They will be with her one morning a week doing something fun: art projects, poetry, nature walks, museum trips, whatever their little brains are interested in at the time. I still have Calvin on a wait list for a half-day Kindergarten, but I really think this is the best solution. It allows them to stay at their Chinese school two mornings a week, have bonding time with Auntie M, and do some fun activities that I don't always have energy to plan.

2. The most important part of the above solution is that it allows the boys to stay at Chinese school. I just did the math and realized that, if all goes as planned, we will be moving to China in 16 months! I cannot even begin to express the amount of stress that is building up in me as I think about it. I am excited to finally go, but knowing all that it takes to get from here to there is overwhelming.

3. One day at a time and a lot of chocolate, that is my solution. M&M's are my current choice. I don't think the writers of the "Melts in your mouth, not in your hand" line had toddlers in mind when they wrote that. Is Hobbes the only toddler who comes away from eating M&M's with color smeared all over his hands, face, and clothing? Am I doing something wrong (leaving out the fact that I am giving the kids sugar)?

4. Speaking of Hobbes, he is sick, again. So is the baby. You people up North will laugh, but I am so ready for Spring. The daffodils are starting to bloom, so it is on its way.

5. Speaking of chocolate. I obviously did not give that up for Lent. But the fast from Facebook and from excessive internet time has been good. Every time I find myself thinking of updating my Facebook status or checking in with my friends on Facebook or reading blogs, I turn to prayer instead. I may write a whole post on this, so I'll leave it at that for now.

6. All of this free time from the internet (laugh, laugh) is leaving me time to read actual books. I just started "Positive Discipline," which is a parenting classic, apparently. It is really good so far, or at least the writer makes her theory sound really good. I have no idea how it will work out in reality. But I am hoping it will help us to solve some of our discipline issues with Calvin and keep from making the same mistakes with Hobbes. Anyone out there have experience with this book? Tips?

7. I never thought I would be the sort to read lots of parenting books, but then Calvin turned three and life got complicated. Still, he is really amazing, and apparently, he and his brother are superheroes. At least, that is what they have been telling me all day. Their imaginations are really coming to life. They fly around our house or down the road on their bikes. They run really fast and fight the bad guys all day long. Ah, boys!

For more 7 Quick Takes, go to Jen's blog.

Shrove Tuesday: Gooey Pizza

For more specifics on what we are doing with our boys to learn about Lent, read this post.

In case you missed it, Lent starts tomorrow. Last year, I wrote about how we were giving up eating out for Lent. This year, I have been a little foggy-headed and am entering the season feeling unprepared. But we did discuss it last night at dinner, and decided on some things to fast from during the season. It seems that my husband and I (and many of our friends) had the same idea for a fast this year. In a culture that increasingly relies on the internet for communication, relationships, and entertainment, we are breaking free, at least for forty days. Obviously, we can't give up e-mail completely. And my husband is a computer programmer and taking grad classes in computer science.

But we are cutting back, way back. In addition to staying off Facebook for Lent, I am limiting myself to thirty minutes of computer time a day. (The only exception to this will be when I need to do work for church and when I am filing my taxes...Do you think the Federal government would take "I'm fasting from my computer for Lent" as an excuse for late taxes?) I am also putting my computer, which currently floats around the living room, back in our office so that I have to go in there to use it. No more sitting behind a screen and ignoring my kids. Oh yeah, and I won't be on it except when the kids are asleep or having quiet time.

Why am I doing this? Pretty simple. I took a good look at my life and the things that were keeping me from parenting well and deepening my relationships with God and others, and the computer was at the top of that list. Who knows? It may even stick, though I may make an exception for blogging.

After my husband and I had finished discussing our computer fast, we asked Calvin if he remembered Lent last year. Once he understood the basic idea, we asked what he thought he could fast from. His first suggestion was playing with Hobbes' toys. We gently suggested that may be pretty hard, since Hobbes would be playing with them and they often like to share or fight over them. Then he piped up again:

"I know! I know what would be a good thing to give up! World of Goo!"

World of Goo, for those who don't know, is a computer game. My boys both love to play it with their Daddy, and it is a special reward for really good days as well as a fun weekend bonding time. Since we are limiting our computer use for Lent, this seemed like the perfect idea. Hobbes is going along for the ride, mostly because his older brother suggested it, and he still isn't clear on the whole Lent thing.

So, in the true spirit of Shrove Tuesday (or perhaps in the indulgent, non-spiritual spirit of Mardi Gras), we are feasting today. I am writing a blog post, sending all those belated e-mails, cleaning out my inbox, and planning to do some good catch-up on blog reading and writing tonight. And the boys and their daddy have a World of Goo date set up for after dinner.

"Um"...you are saying to yourself..."Where does the pizza come in? Is this post mistitled?" Nope. Baby Boy, pseudonym coming soon, has reflux, and in a effort to see what is causing it, I have been cutting dairy out of my diet. In a true spirit of solidarity and love for his wife, my husband (who loves all things dairy more than most people outside of Wisconsin) is giving up dairy for Lent. So tonight, instead of the traditional pancake dinner, we are starting a TwoSquare family tradition: homemade pizza, with extra cheese, and brownies and ice cream for dessert...with maybe a milkshake on the side. Laissez les bons temps roulez!

Morning Light

You crept into our room before daybreak and lay down on the floor by our bed. You know you aren't allowed in the bed with us until it is light outside, so you just stayed there, on the floor, so quiet and good that I didn't even know you were there. Then Daddy noticed you and pulled back the covers for you to climb in. You were so quiet, so gentle, looking at your baby brother asleep on my chest. I knew that you wanted him to wake up and look at you more than anything, but you held back, just smiling and not touching.

When Daddy went into the shower, I asked if you wanted the baby beside you, and your face lit up. You put your face close to his, giving him gentle kisses and soft pats on the head, being so very careful not to wake him up. But when he did open his eyes, you whispered sweet words to him, assuring him of your love and constant presence, as if he had any question.

Then Daddy came back in the room and you cuddled and hugged and begged for rides on his back. You skipped and jumped and smiled your way around the room until your brother started crying, then you ran right back to him. You always do run back to him when he is crying, telling me he needs milk or bringing him a pacifier. Your sweet spirit calms your brother, and your smile charms him and everyone else around you.

You crept into our room before daybreak, Hobbes, waiting for it to be light. What you didn't know was that you brought the light with you.

Fidelity

We are reading again. On our first date, my husband and I sat in the grassy lawn of his campus and read a book aloud to each other. In the two years of dating and early marriage that followed, we read quite a bit together and listened to books on tape. Somewhere along the line, it stopped. I realized we had been watching too much Netflix together and not reading enough. (Though I highly recommend both seasons of Joan of Arcadia, which, like most TV shows I enjoy, I only found after it was taken off the air.) Last week I suggested we start reading again, and he wholeheartedly agreed.

Lest you think the title of this post is about mine and my husband's marriage, it is actually about this book, which I happened upon at my in-laws' the other day and borrowed for us to read. Since my husband had never read any Wendell Berry and was interested in his writing, I thought it was a good place to start. Short stories mean that we can finish one a night and not worry if we get too busy to read together for several nights.

We just read the first story, Pray Without Ceasing, last night, and it was fantastic. I have only read one other piece of Wendell Berry's fiction, and this story sealed his place in my collection. In fact, it might have earned him a place on the shelf next to Flannery O'Connor and Faulkner, and if you know me, that is saying a lot!

Like an O'Connor story, Pray Without Ceasing, has one climatic moment of grace where a character can choose to find redemption or to reject it. Unlike most of O'Connor's characters, this character actually finds that redemption. But this story is so much more. It is layer upon layer of grace and beauty and sadness and the realness of life all blended together. There are so many deeply real characters in it that I came away not knowing who the story was actually about. Really, there are many moments and means of grace in the story. The powers of friendship and kinship and fidelity entwine the characters, pushing them apart and pulling them back together in the most tragic and beautiful movements. It is a story, above all, of faithfulness and forgiveness, and it is profound enough to be a sermon. In fact, more preachers should preach stories and not sermons. As my husband put it, Berry has a way of saying something powerful without ever actually saying it. He just places all of these bits of story in front of you and then slowly brings the puzzle together to show the full picture.

The language is so beautiful and the story so moving that I want to quote some of it here, but for the sake of not giving away the plot, I will refrain. Go and read it and tell me what you think. My husband and I were both near tears at the end. I think we'll keep reading.

7 Quick Takes on Postpartum Parenting

I'm thankful for Jen's "7 Quick Takes" this week. As you can tell, I haven't had much time to post. My life is just crazy. I 'm coming to terms with that.

1. There's no time like the postpartum, hormonally crazy period to start overanalyzing your parenting. Even though things are getting much better as Calvin and Hobbes re-adjust, we still have plenty of meltdowns and fights these days, for which I blame myself and find multiple ways that I am a failure of a parent. Fun.

2. Sometime around the New Year I had a freak-out moment about Calvin's education for next year. Since he only turns five at the beginning of August and we will probably homeschool overseas, I planned to keep him in the Chinese preschool two days a week and not do kindergarten. Then I decided he needed more structure and opportunities than I was able to give him and started frantically researching school options way too late. Wasn't it much simpler when we could just rely on a good public school system and not have to plan before they were born where they would go? Anyway, I am still looking into the possibility of a four day, half day Pre-K school. Or just sending him to Chinese school more days a week. Or just keeping him home every day and providing a more stable routine for him...any suggestions from those of you who have spirited, emotionally difficult children?

3. Realizing that a week after we add a third child to the house may not be the best time to make decisions, I am also considering what to do with Hobbes and basically freaking out about the entire schooling future of my children before it is even time to worry about it. When did a three-year-old's education become such a serious thing? Should I even be sending him to school?

4. In an effort to pull back and realize that I am my child's first and best teacher, I have been trying to have some fun with my kids this week. I bought them a set of real, kid-sized cooking utensils for Christmas, and Calvin is obsessed with reading the recipe cards and asking to cook things. I let them "cook" dinner tonight (with some help), and it was fantastic! They ate it all since they chose and cooked it, including the asparagus. Moments like that make me think that it would be better to just have them home all the time.

5. Then we have moments where a simple suggestion that Calvin needs to obey turns into an emotional meltdown, screaming, anger, and tears. We had one of those Wednesday morning. He was okay by the time I dropped him off at school, but then Hobbes asked if I had packed something in his bag for show and tell. I hadn't, of course, and I left crying, wondering if I was ever going to get this parenting thing figured out. On these days, I wonder if time away from each other would be the best thing for the two of us and if a loving, engaging school environment on most mornings would help Calvin to learn to manage his emotions more.

6. The baby, who still has no pseudonym for this blog (Come on, readers!), is definitely suffering from reflux. I hate the idea of giving him meds, but I also hate to see him in pain. Anyone dealt with this before? I have cut dairy out of my diet and am giving him the meds until that has time to take effect. I am also giving him probiotics. If you have other suggestions, I am open to them.

7. Despite the emotional upheaval in my life and the fussiness of the baby, I am really enjoying this third boy. He seems to be so sweet and such a good-tempered little guy. Oh, and he sleeps like Calvin and Hobbes never did! He often goes for five of six hour stretches at night. Sweet sleep! He is beautiful...but he often has a serious look on his face, a furrowed brow like Calvin had as a newborn...