Monday, March 16, 2009

Loser Morning

I broke my sideview mirror on the way to the boys' preschool this morning. I was swerving to avoid a pothole and hit a garbage can that had been left partway out in the road. Then I got home and started the laundry only to find that the washing machine seems to have lost its rinse and spin mojo. Then, instead of taking a nap while Baby Linus slept, I started thinking about my parenting, always a bad thing to do when you are already having a bad day. Then I started questioning my inability to help my children find friends that they can really connect with and enjoy. Don't other moms go out of their way to arrange play dates with people they might not click with but their kids do? Then I started worrying about my milk supply and whether Linus was gaining enough weight. Then I realized the boys have appointments at the dentist in the morning and I should have been preparing them (or at least Calvin) for a few days. Springing this on him just a day before is a bad idea. Then I looked around at the wreck that is my house and wondered when I was ever going to get my act together. Then I started thinking about moving overseas in 15 months and how I am never going to be able to do it.

Then I sat down and wrote this post and realized I am spending too much time wallowing in self-pity and that I just need to get on with my day and clean some bathrooms.

Please tell me someone else out there feels like this!


Farrah said...

Ummm... just about every morning!! :) I'm with ya!
Days like this tend to spiral out of control.
You are not only a good mom, you are one of the best I know! The way you pour yourself into those boys (all 4!!) and make your home a place of worship and learning and love and warm bread... your boys cherish you even if it doesn't feel like that some days.
These pesky doubts always creep in but we moms have to remind ourselves that the love we have for our kids covers a multitude of "should have"s and "ought to"s.
The car can be fixed, the house will get clean, C & H will find friends, and they will be fine at the dentist.
I am not really one to give advice, except that it is always easier to see truth when you aren't in the middle of such a day yourself.
We all have such days and yours will pass. Just know you are exactly what your boys need and they are lucky to have you!
Love you!

tipper said...

Yes I feel like that some days!! Like it can never all get done and it for sure can never all be right when it is done!! So you are not alone! Hope the feeling passes fast!

Mark Horner said...

This reminds me of an incident that befell me, too, a few years back: I was down in Florida for my sister's wedding, visiting our mutual friend Tammy, when I backed out of the narrow covered parking space and hit one of the metal poles that supported the roof on the structure. Needless to say, my sideview mirror (which extended way too far (Stratus), but that's a different story) was nearly cleaved off. Tammy's laughing hysterically did not help, either. Long story short, I raced up the highway with the mirror dangling on its cord (power, heat) to my car door. An hour and several hundred dollars later, I had a new mirror.

So, it happens to all of us--not necessarily the sideview mirror, but life--and we all get over it. We're all here for each other.

Happy St. M's Day.

Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) said...

All. the. time.

I'm impressed that you were able to snap yourself out of it mid-blog-post. :)